What’s Going On?…. #amwriting #writerslife

No, I don’t mean the lyrics to Marvin Gaye’s classic song I mean with me? I know, I know  it has been a while since I’ve logged into WordPress, but here I am. Firstly thank you and welcome to all new followers… I see you, thanks for keeping me company.

Well, it is freezing here in London, but I’ve done enough running up and down  this week to keep warm(ish). Last week my book tour for A Stranger in France kicked off, and I’ve done a couple of interviews as part of the tour. There’s also a  giveaway on Goodreads too. I will blog the interview links this week coming, when they are published. They were fun to do.

Friday night, I did a  once over/last minute edits  on my next book published next week I believe it will be, or the latest the week after (Not Just for Christmas). You can, read the first  2.5 chapters for free by clicking here. It’s a feel good romantic novella set in my home town London. Two characters that oppose each other wind up  in love, set on the back drop of Christmas- very heartwarming. I hope you enjoy. I will of course let you know the exact date it will drop on Amazon.

The short story I’ve wrote for a serial novel, along side nineteen other authors, to feature in a book called  Code Redhead, is complete. I enjoyed writing that story, it’s a bit of a erotic romance story I guess, a little steamy. I called it One Night in London. You can find out more about that writing project by clicking here. The book will be published in February 2017.

My progress with Novel Writing Month started if you read that blog. The challenge is two chapters per week from next week as a goal to complete. I have agreed a date to submit my work to a publisher who requested to see the full manuscript. I’m super proud of myself and excited, to have a positive response after they read the first three chapters. I need to get my ass into gear though. I will also post a chapter preview of this third book, a romantic thriller soon. This is my current focus writing wise.

Personally, last week I made some life changing decisions. I’m a full- time working mum, my son turns three next week, and to be honest I think life will be more manageable if I worked part- time. Don’t take this as I’m rolling in money far from it, but I weighed up a few things. Any woman out there who is a mum knows what I am talking about, when I say I’d love more time with my boy and a better work life balance. On top of this I have a number of personal reasons that part-time working would be better for us. So I put in a request to my boss  to reduce my working hours late last night. I mulled over my decisions and e-mail to the boss after doing the maths. After  a bottle of red wine ( yes a bottle!)  I am convinced this is the way forward. On the flip side, it  means more time to write! And purse my real dream, as well as things working out for the better of my family. I hope he sees my points and allows the reduction.

So that’s why I have been absent, I’ve been writing, doing some interviews, working my ass off in the day job, and trying to keep warm.  I will be back next week with some writing prompts and short stories. I have withdrawal symptoms LOL,  it’s been a week since I’ve participated.

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, and you’re  refreshed ready for the new working week.

Enjoy the last few hours of Sunday.

 

Friday Night Tunes & Writing #amwriting

A few weeks ago I did a writing prompt “One For The Ladies”  in response to the word value, you can read it here  . In my writing prompt, I  mentioned some famous women, who lost their self value  but have bounced back, and sadly some who never made it. One of them was Ms Spears! I am a H.U.G.E. Britney fan I always have been since “Opps I did it again”. I would love to see her in concert perform live  if she ever tours  in London- even if it means going on my own, I’d do it. I just noticed her carpool session with James Corden, from The Late Show and had to share.

Have a watch of this, she has bounced back so much from her dark days. Take note of what she said about her feelings towards men and marriage, and I dare you to try not to sing along, I found it hard. Now I’ve got some old skool Britney out of my system, I can get back to writing, happy Friday. Have a great weekend.

Go Britney you have bounced back, and you look fantastic!!

Value

 

 

Writing Prompt: What Would You Do If … #amwriting

I’ve been playing around with some of the 100+ writing prompts I shared with you earlier this week. I’ve had a really good time with the  one line generator, especially the random situation generator. Here’s one that got me writing.

Writing prompt: What Would You Do If… You Had No Money To Feed Your Children?

It’s really sad, but I think in this day and age this is not an uncommon thing in society, I’m not talking third world countries I mean built up society. I can’t speak for elsewhere but here in London, the cost of living is ridiculously high. I have spoken about this before so I won’t rant again, but take rent for example if you rent from a private landlord the prices are sky high in some of the more “nicer” parts of London. Here in the UK we have a system that does offer help with rent payments to those on low incomes or out of work, under the current government we have, when they first came into power the amount of support offered was capped. The result of this was many of those on lower incomes were pushed out of the ” nicer” areas of London they were renting in, and had a struggle to find more cheaper homes to rent. Really sad. Then there’s the average salary vs things like rent costs, food costs, and transport. All very expensive outgoings in London- not to mention child care. 

Parents ( especially women) are often faced with the tough decision of staying at home or reducing their working hours as the cost of full time child care in London, easily eats up a huge part of your income- trust me I know! Just while children are under school age a woman’s career may be set back. Some how here in London economically in some cases it can make more  sense to stay at home rather than work, as the living wage just won’t not cover  all the bills and childcare. This is a blog post for another day! It’s a big subject.

So with these points in mind, I saw this writing prompt and thought this is something a lot of parents may (at one point) have been faced with. The extent of it will vary but we’ve all been there. I have decided not to pay a bill in order to survive, I have no shame in saying that! LOL just life and real, London is expensive!

Luckily, I’ve never been put in a position where I could not at all feed my son, but let me tell you if I were ever in this situation here is what I would do. He is my king and he always comes first. Let’s assume I had no mum, sisters, support system  etc and I was totally on my own…

  1. I’d ask my local shop keeper (really nicely) if he will help me out and explain my situation. I’d like to think after going to the same corner shop (as we call it here in the UK) for almost ten years where I live, he’d help me out with food. Just until I can repay him.
  2. I’d steal it- I tell you no lie I would. This is my son we are talking about. Yes I know this is wrong but I would actually steal food from the store, if the shop keeper said no. I don’t know if I should confess this but oh well! I would probably head to one of the larger food chains. The major ones who can afford to miss the cost of one meal as their profit turn over is ridiculously high. 
  3. I’d try to find a food bank. Here in London or actually around the UK they became very popular when the recession hit back in 2007. I’d turn on the news and see news reports on how much local charity aid  increased in demand, due to job loss vs the need to feed a family.
  4. I ‘d look in my cupboard and see what I can possibly russel up for dinner from what I have. One thing I learned from my mum is keep emergency supplies of things like pasta, tuna, rice etc. To this day I always have these tucked away – just in case.
  5. I’d go out and swallow my pride and ask strangers for help. I really would for the sake of my son. About two weeks ago, I was  outside a cafe, I just stepped out onto the pavement and started to debate what errand to run first on a Monday afternoon. A young girl approached me she looked around her mid -twenties. She said to me ” excuse me miss, do you have any cooking , cleaning or babysitting work for me?” I was quite shocked  and politely I said ” no I’m really sorry.” She then continued  to explain ” I have just come here from my country and it’s really hard, no work for me so I can’t eat or survive.” My heart strings were tugged, I asked her where she is from, it turned out  imagine this from  Greece! Of all the countries. I’m sure you all kept up with the crisis that country experienced when it went bankrupt and residents were limited to just something like sixty euros per week to withdraw from the bank, as there were no funds!  The country and its people were left high and dry. I could not believe what she said to me. While I had no cooking or cleaning jobs I did give her some money for food, just my luck I had no change so I ended up giving her a full £5.00 note. Before I handed it over, I thought to myself what is £5.00 in this day and age? It can just about buy lunch, or a travel card for the day this is not a large sum of money I’m parting with. She was so grateful. All I asked from her is that she did not spend it on drugs or alcohol, I watched her walk into the Wimpy cafe and take a seat ready to order. I walked away feeling like a better person for that charitable deed that day. If I ever have no money to feed my baby, I hope if I stop a stranger on the street and explain they will feel no ill feelings about parting with £5.00 just as I did.

A Writer’s Life- Up Close #amwriting

For anyone who thinks a writer’s life is always gilz’ n’ glam  that  is so not the case! I’m a busy mum to a two year old, and I work full time so for me a typical “day in my life of writing” is packed. It comes with late nights and early mornings, but I love it and would not change it for the world. Some sacrifice is needed, I barely watch TV- only now and again when I need some head space.

While I was writing A Stranger in France a typical day in my writing life would be:

5.30 a.m. I’d wake up start to get myself ready for the day.

6:00 a.m. cuddle and kisses time! My favourite time of the day, my son would wake up.

6.15 a.m. we’d have breakfast and catch up on the news channel and some much loved kid’s TV.  I’d get my son ready for nursery.

7.00 a.m. prep dinner for that evening, a bit of house work, sneak a peek at what I wrote the night before.

7.50 a.m. we’d jump in the car I’d drop my son off at nursery school.

8.20 a.m. – 4.30 p.m. I’d be at work, day dreaming about getting back to my laptop to write.

Once back at home I’d get all mama duties out of the way and spend some quality time with my son. Once he was in bed normally about 8ish in the evening, I’d be back at my lap top either writing to meet my submission deadline or editing, until the early hours of the next morning- normally about 1:00 a.m. Then the whole routine would start again, this was Monday – Friday.

On a weekend I was able to fit in a teeny tiny bit more writing, as I would not have to go to work. Each chapter I completed really motivated me, as I was so excited about the story and the drama I was creating for my characters.  If my son took a nap or spent time with other family members, rather than take some “me time’’ and go shopping, get a pedicure, or just relax and catch up on sleep, I’d sit my butt down and crack on! This was my routine for about six- seven months. It was a crazy time for my family, and I but I really enjoyed. So as you can see, a writer’s life (one who still works) is far from glam it’s bloody hard work but totally worth it.

What can I say, thank God for MAC under eye concealer and eye opening make-up artists’ ticks, the bags under my eyes could carry a week’s grocery shopping in. But I would not change a thing.

 

 

 

 

Writers Life… #amwriting #writerslife

I ‘ve not blogged this late for a while, but I have my radio tuned into Magic Soul and Motown hits, I’m feeling bright -eyed even though it’s late. And the best bit it’s half -term break, I have a week off. I also have a massive to-do list writing wise. As many of you know I have a few writing projects I’m juggling, here’s a little update on how they are coming along.

Today, I printed off my manuscript for Not Just for Christmas and sent it over to my band new additional UK based editor and proof reader. I’m really excited about this up and coming new release. It’s a festive themed story, and Christmas is my favourite time of year. The story has a different feel to A Stranger in France which is full of suspense and unpredictable twists! Not Just for Christmas is a sensual feel good romance. I plan to do a chapter preview a little later this month, but for now you can see my book cover.

The Code Redhead Serial Novel story I’m writing for charity is also coming along nicely. My goal is to complete this short story this week, and submit to my publisher. You can find out more details about Code Redhead  the charity book I will be featured in by clicking here. Its release date is February 2017.

Last week, my publisher put out a call for valentines day romance stories to publish, it was quiet at work last week, on the back of a bit of tracing paper I whipped up a short story-line! More excitement (and juggling), if I do go ahead and answer this call and write the short story idea I have.

Then, there’s my baby my romance -thriller story I started to write one full year ago. I left it to simmer and completed  A Stranger in France. This is a full length novel in my mind with suspense twists and turns  and I HAVE  to finish writing it. The idea has been knocking around between my ears for way too long. So I aim to make this my focus before the end of 2016 and see where it goes into 2017 in terms of publishing.

Over the weekend I also did another author interview which I hope to re-blog for you in a few weeks when it’s published. And in November I have another virtual tour kicking off for A Stranger in France.   On Halloween… I have a surprise for you also, stay tuned!

So guys, that’s the 411  at the moment, #writerslife is busy , busy , busy but loving every moment of the madness. 

I hope all’s well your end! 

 

 

Writing Prompt: Mid-Season Replacement, Are You Ready For Change? #amwriting

Writing prompt: For many of us the seasons are changing, bouncing unpredictably between cold and warm. Are you glad to be moving into a new season, or wishing for one more week of the old?

Personally, I’m a warm hot-blooded woman! I love the sun and everything that comes with it the  beach, parks, ice cream, cute sundresses, sunglasses, sandals, pedicures and bold colour nail varnish. Without a doubt summer has to be my favourite season, followed by spring.

That said, there are a number of things I love about fall – or autumn as we call it here in the UK. Autumn is well and truly on us here in the UK, the rain, chilly wind and darker evenings are all the signs you need as a Londoner,  to know it’s time to pack away the flip flops for another year.

I’m always keen to drag out the summer months for as long as possible, but when I thought about this writing prompt when I saw it, there are a number of things I love about the change of season to autumn.

  1. An excuse to read! Oh yes, with the cold windy weather it is a great reason to stay in and cuddle up with a great book.
  2. I’m more productive as a writer in the colder months- I don’t want to go out in the wind and rain, I’d rather be behind my lap top than out in the bad weather.
  3. The fashion: There is something about autumn fashion that really gets me going, the colours of autumn are really cool.  Nice stylish winter coats and hats.Not black or grey I mean browns, golds, dark greens. I love boots, and autumn is the time when all the nice ones are in the shops. Be it ankle  or knee height I don’t mind, I just love a new pair of boots. 
  4. I love to wear scarfs – nice chunky ones with bold prints. No better time than in the autumn.
  5. The change in colour and look when it comes to make-up and nail polish. You just have to take a glance on You – Tube, as soon as 1st September comes, to see all the make-up artists show-casing their “fall make-up” as soon as August is up. Reds, berry colours, browns I love all the deep  colours when it comes to lipsticks which are perfect for this time of year. Nail colour trends turn dark and vampy out goes the pinks and pale shades in come the reds, burgundy, navy and purple shades. I love it all. 
  6. Christmas- oh yes my favourite time of year. I love Christmas not for the gifts or money spent, purely for what it represents ( to me) family time. The one time of year you get to sit down and catch up with your loved ones and friends over a great meal. All year you’ve been busy, at Christmas everything slows down and the focus ( in my house) is on family time. I really, really enjoy cooking up a storm in the kitchen too this time of year.
  7. Meal times- in autumn are all about soups,stews, roast dinners and nice wholesome foods, which I enjoy cooking and eating.
  8. Reflection time- often this time of year I start to look towards the new year, (yeah like two months early.) I’m already thinking about what I’d hope for, for the new year, what I want more  or less of in the new year to come. This time of year I’m very out  with the old and in with the new.
  9. The start of a new academic year: as a teacher this is the chance to really make an impact on each student’s life, by preparing them for what’s ahead. Be it an exam, coursework or the next stage of study.
  10. My son’s birthday: yep! My baby boy is a winter baby just like me when it comes to his birthday. This time of year I get to celebrate another year spent with the best toddler in the world. I always look back and see how much he’s developed I can’t believe he’s going to be three.

So I guess for me, the change of season brings around a lot of positives, especially as I’m more productive as a writer.Even if I’m not a fan of the weather, without it ( the shift from sunshine to wind and rain) I would not enjoy my usual piqued interest in fashion, be  more creativity while cooking, or start  preparation and planning for the new year. 

So yes, while I’m wishing for one more week of sunglasses and a sundress, at the same time autumn, for me personally brings around a lot of personal growth as I look towards the future. It just occurred to me while writing this, my spring time eg new-begging is not in March/April time when spring actually starts  but in autumn September/October!

How do you feel about the change in season? Does it represent anything for you? What’s your favourite season and why?

 

Writing Prompt: Write A Short Story Using The Title/Lyrics Of A Song. #Soul #Sunday #amwriting #music

Careful

 Writing prompt: write a short story using the title/lyrics of a song.

These songs just came on my ” Sweet Soulful Sunday” Spotify player randomly. Here’s a short( love) story using the lyrics from the two songs.. here we go!

I keep forgetting we’re not in love any more, I keep forgetting things will never be the same again. It all started a year ago, we fell out of love. Slowly, like a cancer eating away at an organ. It started in one area of our relationship , then spread and took over every other aspect. Before  I knew it you were  asking me to leave. To give you space to think and reflect on exactly what it is that you want.

What happened to us? What happened to the days when I thought  we were happy? Sometimes I sit down and wonder why? Why are you gone? I thought our love was real and true.   

It was spring  when we met, like a breath of fresh area  we got caught up in the whirlwind of dates, laughing, joking and getting to know this wonderful new person.  But now you’re gone, and I no longer lay down at night with you. I see you in  the street, at the library, at the cafe and every time you’re near, every time I see your face, and  hear you say “hello you can only stay awhile”  it makes me want to break down, and  cry. How comes I keep forgetting we’re not in love anymore? How comes I keep forgetting things will never be the same again? 

Every time I hear how you never want to live a lie, I wonder why? Was you ever happy or  just her for the sake of it. The love went, then the  intimacy . What is the lie, what is it that you can’t stand anymore. Are you hiding something from me?

Here’s a response from the other person in the relationship!

I’m sorry I told you to go, but it was the best thing for me as I needed to grow. Every morning I wake up, before I put on my make-up I say a little prayer for you..  wishing that you will be OK, and you will find someone new  who can love you and be true. While I’m combing my hair, and wondering what dress to wear everyday, I say a little prayer for you. That God can send you someone new and true.

We were together for a year and I swear that forever and ever you’ll stay in my heart, I will always love you. But I don’t think I am the one for you.

Break ups are hard, especially when you can’t understand why a relationship  fell apart, to live with out you will mean heart break for me.  When I was with you trust me darling there was no one for me but you, yes I’m still in love you .But I must do what’s best for me. I wish you well but now I must say fair well.

Aww! How sad it’s never nice when things fall about in relationships, but sadly they do. Be careful who you give you’re heart to. 

Happy soulful Sunday people!

Writing Prompt: Tree- A Poem #amwriting

Tree

 

Write a response to today’s WordPress one word writing prompt the word “tree”.

Through rain, wind, snow and heat you remain rooted and firm.Sometimes I wish I was that firm. In life I’ve had many lessons to learn, that’s how I’ve become firm.

Regardless of what’s going on you’ll always be there, just five minutes away, in the playground where all the local kids go to play. Whenever I need shelter, comfort or a place to escape, tree, you’re  always there for me.

Each season that passes I visit you often. Sometimes weekly I’ll head out,  and seek thee -my beautiful tree. For some time to reflect, digest and de-stress , it’s the best place, as  while I sit under you somehow

Everything seems brand new,  I see the world from a complete different view. My beautiful thinking tree, I’m happy for the day I sat down on the grass and found you.

 

It’s been a bit of a stressful day today! I can’t actually write – not what I’ve sat down to work on about two hours ago, so I’ve done a writing prompt poem instead.  

Writing Prompt: Value- One For The Ladies

o Lol

Value

Today’s WordPress writing prompt is the word value, and I noticed it’s been suggested by one of my favourite bloggers Roberta Primentel all the way in Norway.

 Do you value yourself? Seriously do you? Don’t just say  “yeah I do” think about it- when was the last time you put yourself first? When I saw today’s prompt, what came to mind is one’s self, how much value we place on us.  Secondly, I thought of myself and how much I (now) value myself, compared to this time last year. As a romance writer it is so easy to whip up the perfect characters and everything is nice and everyone is happy, (after a few hurdles), but in reality love and life is not always like this. I’ve found in my thirty-three years of living, that the slightest thing can cause you to de-value yourself or compromise yourself. Sometimes with no thanks, or without even realising it.

You all know how much I love music, Amy Winehouse just came on my Spotifier player I thought of her, the poor girl. She was just a year younger than me  and sooooooo talented I went to one of her concerts here in London – when she was at the top of her game. And I brought the album Back to Black the day it came out, as well as her first album Frank. I have a lot of respect for her as an artist dead or alive, especially after I heard her sing live. But she died not because she was addicted to drugs and drink, what brought her to that point? In my view low self value. She valued another person more than herself ( her lover), it got so much for her the heart ache of placing this guy above herself she turned to drink and drugs to numb the pain.  I have read interviews over the years where her ex-husband has stated that he does feel guilty, and partly to blame for her death. So sad. She never got the chance to bounce back from Back to Black and come out the other side valuing herself more than some guy who clearly did not deserve her heart. Have you listened to that album? I mean really listened, not just to Rehab and Valarie the well known songs. Every every song has some reference to her heart ache. One thing I’ve always said about Amy is, out of her heart ache, came a masterpiece of art, her words, her feelings and her great voice earned her award after award all that from a broken heart and low self value.

Tell me ladies, is it really worth it? Not valuing yourself enough ? Letting yourself go so badly that you go from one extreme to another in your looks, ability to perform and be who you are?

RIP Amy.

The Amy I’ll always love

 

Last Friday, I read the morning’s papers and there was an interview with Britney Spears, how she’s fearful that her boys were growing up so fast, how she feels more herself in her thirties than her twenties. I can relate to the latter 100%. Britney is another woman who lost herself by placing less value on herself and more on someone else. We all remember watching her decline from a pop princess to a shaved headed maniac, hitting the paps with an umbrella… why? Why did this happen? We’ll never know but my guess is that a lot of it was to do with pressure of motherhood, then single motherhood , divorcing her shit-bag husband, a  breakup with Justin Timberlake all kinds of bull shit, I guess she was trying to please everyone but Britney, and it ended up with her melting down. Thank God she bounced back. Over the years, I’ve been secretly rooting for her comeback,  when I heard her her comeback song ” Gimmie More”  in 2007 the opening is   ” it’s Britney bitch” then she sings, I laughed and I still do when I hear it as it’s like two fingers up to all her haters. Good for you Britney! You’ve had so much stick over the years, I’m glad you’re back on top and doing what you do best.

 

The Britney I’ll always love

 

That’s not all what about Whitney Houston? Gosh that voice, the hair in the 80s, I love Whitney but she too lost her self worth and value  to yep- another person. Bobby Brown. We all know her story and it is so sad that she died, and even sadder how she died. Just another example of what can happen when a woman loses her self value and worth.

 

RIP Whitney

 

 

And my last female example is Lauren Hill, I am a MASSIVE  fan of her, it was her and the group The Fugees that introduced me to Hip Hop. My older sister brought me the album     “The Score” by the Fugees on tape I remember LOL, and she also brought me Lauren Hill’s album ” The Mis-education of Lauren Hill” back in the day. Lauren’s story is not so much highlighted as the other ladies in the media, but she too lost her self worth and value to another person. She also considered aborting her son due to media/industry pressure. Now she’s back  and is now on the up from watching You- Tube updates on her. Good for you Lauren!

 

Glad to have you back Lauren

So what is the point that I’m actually trying to make… a very simple one. Ladies value yourself . Choose your male mate wisely Aretha Franklin said it “R.E.S.P.E.C.T. ME! ” Remember you are like a flower you need to be watered and tended to regularly in order for you to bloom. If not you will wilt away and die- your personality, goals, hopes, dreams, ambition and self belief that you can do whatever it is you’d like to achieve. You will not value yourself as you should and may make poor decisions.

The four ladies I’ve used as examples of women who have lowered/compromised or lost their self value are extreme I know, as two of the four died, but two of the four have bounced back and   that’s the message I want to give.  Bounce back! As I said earlier in this post, this time last year, I would not say I had no self value, but it was lowered, compromised and  I was pleasing everyone but Kim. I put a stop to it, for the sake of my own sanity so I’m able to continue to  be the best mother I can be,  write, laugh, be me and over see the safety of both myself and my son.  Now life is much more better!

 The last thing I want o say is, this month is Domestic Violence Awareness month, I was alerted of this yesterday…. so  if you are in any form of abusive relationship or friendship, get the help you need NOW and get out. And if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship (this is just as bad) get the help you need NOW and try to walk away. The year is ending start 2017 with a new attitude… love you before anyone else.

Thank you to Roberta Primentel for today’s suggestion, and inspiring me to write.

 

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Writing Prompt: Fragile- My Gosh I feel Fragile Today!#amwriting

Fragile

The adjective FRAGILE has 3 senses:

1. easily broken or damaged or destroyed
2. vulnerably delicate
3. lacking solidity or strength and liable to break ( Dictionary definition)

Today’s WordPress writing prompt word is fragile, and my gosh I feel fragile tonight, I feel like point #3 above. it’s only 23.59pm at the time of writing this, and I’m  about ready to sleep….. for at least a week.  Us creatives and bloggers all over the world just don’t know when to stop! Who has that problem? Or are you like me- you work best at night, that’s your creative hour?

I’ve been writing around the clock,  with late nights and early mornings. Each day this week, I’ve started my day job  job at 7.30a.m. I’ve had a 5.00a.m wake up every day. I don’t remember the last time I saw the backs of my eyelids for a full 8 hours sleep. If this is you to here’s a little poem for you…

FRIDAY IS HERE,

Rest is sure to come,

At the moment you’re too tired  and fragile- you simply just can’t  can’t crack on,

Go on with caution, don’t burn the candle at both ends  You need  to recover and bounce back fully on the mend,

I can see my bed, this vision is not in my head,

Late at night all us bloggers and creatives we sit here an type but,

Everyone, I think my job here is done. But while I’m gone have fun.

Well good night, and if you feel as fragile as me… take a beak this weekend relax and unwind.