Writing Prompt: Value- One For The Ladies

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Value

Today’s WordPress writing prompt is the word value, and I noticed it’s been suggested by one of my favourite bloggers Roberta Primentel all the way in Norway.

 Do you value yourself? Seriously do you? Don’t just say  “yeah I do” think about it- when was the last time you put yourself first? When I saw today’s prompt, what came to mind is one’s self, how much value we place on us.  Secondly, I thought of myself and how much I (now) value myself, compared to this time last year. As a romance writer it is so easy to whip up the perfect characters and everything is nice and everyone is happy, (after a few hurdles), but in reality love and life is not always like this. I’ve found in my thirty-three years of living, that the slightest thing can cause you to de-value yourself or compromise yourself. Sometimes with no thanks, or without even realising it.

You all know how much I love music, Amy Winehouse just came on my Spotifier player I thought of her, the poor girl. She was just a year younger than me  and sooooooo talented I went to one of her concerts here in London – when she was at the top of her game. And I brought the album Back to Black the day it came out, as well as her first album Frank. I have a lot of respect for her as an artist dead or alive, especially after I heard her sing live. But she died not because she was addicted to drugs and drink, what brought her to that point? In my view low self value. She valued another person more than herself ( her lover), it got so much for her the heart ache of placing this guy above herself she turned to drink and drugs to numb the pain.  I have read interviews over the years where her ex-husband has stated that he does feel guilty, and partly to blame for her death. So sad. She never got the chance to bounce back from Back to Black and come out the other side valuing herself more than some guy who clearly did not deserve her heart. Have you listened to that album? I mean really listened, not just to Rehab and Valarie the well known songs. Every every song has some reference to her heart ache. One thing I’ve always said about Amy is, out of her heart ache, came a masterpiece of art, her words, her feelings and her great voice earned her award after award all that from a broken heart and low self value.

Tell me ladies, is it really worth it? Not valuing yourself enough ? Letting yourself go so badly that you go from one extreme to another in your looks, ability to perform and be who you are?

RIP Amy.

The Amy I’ll always love

 

Last Friday, I read the morning’s papers and there was an interview with Britney Spears, how she’s fearful that her boys were growing up so fast, how she feels more herself in her thirties than her twenties. I can relate to the latter 100%. Britney is another woman who lost herself by placing less value on herself and more on someone else. We all remember watching her decline from a pop princess to a shaved headed maniac, hitting the paps with an umbrella… why? Why did this happen? We’ll never know but my guess is that a lot of it was to do with pressure of motherhood, then single motherhood , divorcing her shit-bag husband, a  breakup with Justin Timberlake all kinds of bull shit, I guess she was trying to please everyone but Britney, and it ended up with her melting down. Thank God she bounced back. Over the years, I’ve been secretly rooting for her comeback,  when I heard her her comeback song ” Gimmie More”  in 2007 the opening is   ” it’s Britney bitch” then she sings, I laughed and I still do when I hear it as it’s like two fingers up to all her haters. Good for you Britney! You’ve had so much stick over the years, I’m glad you’re back on top and doing what you do best.

 

The Britney I’ll always love

 

That’s not all what about Whitney Houston? Gosh that voice, the hair in the 80s, I love Whitney but she too lost her self worth and value  to yep- another person. Bobby Brown. We all know her story and it is so sad that she died, and even sadder how she died. Just another example of what can happen when a woman loses her self value and worth.

 

RIP Whitney

 

 

And my last female example is Lauren Hill, I am a MASSIVE  fan of her, it was her and the group The Fugees that introduced me to Hip Hop. My older sister brought me the album     “The Score” by the Fugees on tape I remember LOL, and she also brought me Lauren Hill’s album ” The Mis-education of Lauren Hill” back in the day. Lauren’s story is not so much highlighted as the other ladies in the media, but she too lost her self worth and value to another person. She also considered aborting her son due to media/industry pressure. Now she’s back  and is now on the up from watching You- Tube updates on her. Good for you Lauren!

 

Glad to have you back Lauren

So what is the point that I’m actually trying to make… a very simple one. Ladies value yourself . Choose your male mate wisely Aretha Franklin said it “R.E.S.P.E.C.T. ME! ” Remember you are like a flower you need to be watered and tended to regularly in order for you to bloom. If not you will wilt away and die- your personality, goals, hopes, dreams, ambition and self belief that you can do whatever it is you’d like to achieve. You will not value yourself as you should and may make poor decisions.

The four ladies I’ve used as examples of women who have lowered/compromised or lost their self value are extreme I know, as two of the four died, but two of the four have bounced back and   that’s the message I want to give.  Bounce back! As I said earlier in this post, this time last year, I would not say I had no self value, but it was lowered, compromised and  I was pleasing everyone but Kim. I put a stop to it, for the sake of my own sanity so I’m able to continue to  be the best mother I can be,  write, laugh, be me and over see the safety of both myself and my son.  Now life is much more better!

 The last thing I want o say is, this month is Domestic Violence Awareness month, I was alerted of this yesterday…. so  if you are in any form of abusive relationship or friendship, get the help you need NOW and get out. And if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship (this is just as bad) get the help you need NOW and try to walk away. The year is ending start 2017 with a new attitude… love you before anyone else.

Thank you to Roberta Primentel for today’s suggestion, and inspiring me to write.

 

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Writing Prompt:The Internet Is Full Of Rants #amwriting #amreading

 

ideaIt’s Sunday morning, a nice bright one here in London. I’ll be spending the morning in rather than at the pool with my little boy, our usual Sunday routine is broken as the poor thing has a terrible snotty nose and head cold. But he’s not miserable thank God.

 I just tidied up my kitchen table- come writing desk area where I dump all my books, paperwork, note pads and the like and came across another writing prompt book that I have. It has a prompt for every day of the year!  The prompt under today’s date is very fitting for a Sunday, considering that many feel that Sunday is a day of rest, to give thanks and a holy day. I’m not a religious person, more spiritual then a religion follower- but I do feel that Sunday is a rest and recharge/family day so I’ll use  today’s  prompt and give thanks today. What are you thankful for?

 Writing Prompt: The Internet is full of rants: Help tip the balance today,simply be thankful for something or someone.

I wrote a list of things I’m thankful for and here’s why.

Health: I’m so thankful for my overall good health as without it so many things for me would be impossible, working to provide for my family, looking after not just myself but my family and of course the ability to write and complete novels. I don’t just mean physical overall health I’m  thankful for my mental well being too. Often, we forget about this  to be unwell does not just mean a physical pain, a person can be unhealthy or unwell and you would not know it to look at them, that’s because it can be hidden – in their mental well being.

Last week I read a blog post about a lady who has a husband that’s currently seriously unwell physically, it made me stop and think about how precious life is, and how being health is something to be thankful for, even if you’re broke!

My car: Not in a materialistic sense at all, more practical sense. I laugh as I write this as I can visualise my battered old banger of a car downstairs. But you know what, she’s mine and she has done me so well over the years. And in the winter months she always starts no problems. With a toddler I can’t imagine life without my beloved little car. From food shopping, to day to day nursery school drops and pick ups then I dash off to work, if I never had a car life would be a lot more harder in terms of mobility. Public transport on the whole in London is excellent, but expensive and  when you need to go you need to go! And it’s not always the quickest form of transport when you have a busy day of errands to run  and a two year old that would take about a week to walk to the end of the road LOL.

Home: I mean this is the sense that many many people are homeless in London, well all over the world to be honest not just my home town. That said, the cost of living is so extreme over here I don’t know if there is anywhere that actually compares to it? During the recession we had in 2007, many people lost their jobs and as a result their homes. I can’t not imagine (especially with a child) being homeless or having no where to lay my head at night that is safe , warm and dry. My home truly is a safe heaven for my family and I . I’m thankful for it, I think I’ve just taken it for granted. But when I thought about it as I ran through my list of things to be thankful for if you have a home you’re blessed and lucky, no matter how big or small as many people don’t even have a cardboard box.

I have in the past at Christmas donated to the charity Shelter to help feed those who are homeless at Christmas. I donated the cost of what it would be to feed and offer a bed for a night for one person. I felt good about doing this, one year I’d like to maybe help out serving food for those who visit the shelter during the festive season. Home is precious don’t take it for granted. Just keep it tidy. 🙂

Son: My life changed the day I have birth to that little munchin! For the better and I would not change a thing. There’s not much for me to say here apart from children are a blessing, motherhood is a joy.

Ability to read and education: This is another thing that I think many take for granted, the ability to read and write. I thought about the little girls who were snatched away in Nigeria as they were learning to read/being educated. From what I remember when this was all over the news, this is not something that’s approved of in their community for whatever reason for females to be educated. It’s sad, not just because they are little girls or females it’s sad that anyone is denied the chance to learn, read and write. I tried to imagine life without being able to read. I had a hard time ! Life would be so difficult without this ability. Or the right to freely learn. In the UK education is free up until the age of 19, as a qualified teacher year after year I see so many youngsters waste this great opportunity and mess about in class. I tell them in a no nonsense way in many countries education is restricted and not free, finance depends on how far you go within education.  I don’t personally believe the two should be linked, I guess I’m thankful for our system in the UK when it comes to education.

Mum: she’s just the best! Truly she is. I can’t say much more. Thanks mama.

The internet: What the hell were we all doing before the internet came around? I can’t even imagine life now without it. I’m old enough to remember when it first came in, my mum ( like everyone else) had the dial up internet and an old style desktop PC. But I’m thankful for the internet as without it, my weekly shop might be a struggle if I don’t have time to get to the supermarket,  I’d not be able to connect with all you wonderful people, I’d not have met my wonderful snail mail pals who are miles away from me in different time zones, my career as a writer would not have kicked off with a publisher that’s in another country. Research for writing would mean a lot more leg work. So many things would be different without this wonderful creation. It has it’s usefulness, even if sometimes you do read a lot of crap on it. Let’s use it today to be thankful with our internet usage and ”tip the balance” as this writing prompt prompts us to. What are you thankful for? Let me know I’d love to hear your list let’s not rant today, let’s give thanks today.

Happy Sunday, have a restful, peaceful and family centred day.

Thankful