Tag Archives: inspiration

Book Review: Blindsided: Essays From The Only Black Woman In The Room

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I came across the audio version of this book as a recommendation while reading another anthology of essays. It was a short read to listen to, and narrated by the author ( which I love). The title really grabbed me, so I gave it a listen.

How does a black woman maintain her sense of self, when most of her friends are white? In public spaces and private, Dawn Downey is under attack by an onslaught of microaggressions. She struggles to find balance between personal relationships and personal integrity. In the process, she unconsciously takes on characteristics of the privileged. But after a photo of a racist toy shows up in her social media feed, she discovers her black power.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Review- Really Enjoyable! Four Stars

 

Like I said this was a nice surprise find as an audio book. I really enjoy listening to the essays and experiences of others. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I was certain that I would get some first hand accounts of the author’s experience in the USA as a woman of colour. That I certainly got, but in an unexpected way, I found that it was witty in places, humorous, and I could feel the author’s (sarcastic) sense of humour shining through as she narrated her own work.

There are probably anywhere near ten or just over this essays here, and each one is set in a different context, location, and experience of her realising that, well yes–she is the ‘only black woman in the room’ and sometimes this was a problem ( not on her behalf) mainly from what I got other people. Not every encounter the author recalls is a clear ‘OMG how could anyone say or do that’ moment, some of her experiences are with people who simply did not know how to react to her, from they way I interpreted things. The issue with this was that not only did the author have to deal with this, the other person/people had to learn and adapt. Which in this day and age one might find strange. I mean, c’mon why in the twenty-first century does anyone need to adapt to another human being of a different skin tone?  A lot of these people were ‘friends’ of the author, or associates at places where she carried out her hobbies such as yoga class. My favourite stand out essays are these below, these are not the names of them but how I referred to them in my notes via the topic they cover:

 

Natural Hair- This was the first essay I listened to, I enjoyed the humour in her experience as a teen/ young lady learning to manage her hair with the help of a friend, and a white step-mother. I also really enjoyed listening to her finding ‘proudness’ in herself. The author mentions ‘freedom and confidence’ in the essay, it was really enjoyable a great start to the collection.

The Restaurant- this was an essay which highlighted the author’s experience of subtle racism or bigotry behaviour at a restaurant with her husband ( who we later learn in a non-black man, if I remember correctly he is white). I found the essay in some places heartbreaking as the author shows her experience of simply asking to have her apple pie to go, and her receiving the burnt and uneatable part of the pie, along with some other subtle behaviour that would raise an eyebrow from the staff. Clearly it was not a mistake by the restaurant, as this part of the pie was totally uneatable. However the author played on her humour and sarcasm again with the ‘mmm, maybe it was a mistake’, ‘ ah you know, maybe this or that happened’ and in a way made ‘excuses’ for the restaurant. It reminded me of when people  are gas lighted about their experiences, or made to feel that ‘oh it’s not that bad,’  with the excuses she made. Clearly, this was all tongue-in-cheek , I could tell it was to play up how often  society encourage ‘making excuses’ and ‘ overlooking’ certain things if someone points out their experience. Well, at least that’s how I interpreted it! A really good listen this one was, as I was not expecting the direction it went in.

Jazzy- this essay focused on her experience of seeing a Facebook post that she interpreted one way, then there was a re-post of it by her friend ( who originally posted it),  then the author interpreted it another way. Again it was lovely to listen to and experience the author’s own thought processes as she processed internally what she had seen posted by a ‘friend,’ that clearly didn’t consider her friends of colour.

Overall it was a really nice introduction to the author’s work, personality, and experience in life. It reminded me of listening to something that Alice Walker might write:  personal accounts on society, being a woman, race etc. this expectation was what drew me to the book, it didn’t disappoint. I do recommend it to those who enjoy these kind of works or anyone who is a fan of ‘Alice Walker style essays.’

One Positive Change I’ve Made in My Life?

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Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
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You know, there are a few now I think about it, the first that comes to mind is probably my sleeping habits. Many moon’s ago, before I became a mother I could go out ( and party), grab a McDonalds breakfast in the wee hours of the morning, come home, take a shower, and go straight to work. I cringe at the thought of even attempting to do this these days! I could never. I was in my late teens and early twenties then.

Since then, and not having this patten any more, I have always had a habit of going to bed late and waking up early. I am rather strange in that I am both a night owl and morning person. ( Meaning I don’t mind getting up early). But this is impossible if you’re getting into bed at stupid-o-clock and getting up before the sun rises. Your body, health, and mental state are completely messed up with this pattern.

Early To Bed, Early To Rise

A little while ago, I answered a writing prompt on what I would do more of if I had more time, in this I spoke a bit about my journey with yoga and qualifying as a teacher. One thing that this course has encouraged me to do is get to bed early, and rise early. According to Ayurvedic yoga and medicine and your own body type, there are set times that are good for you to wake and go to sleep. For me my ‘dosha’ is  Veta in Ayurvedic medicine/ yoga, and this encourages a bed time of around 10:00pm and to wake up before sun rises, typically around 6:00am. I have tried to do this for a while, and over the last few weeks I have changed my actual ‘bed time routine’ to include things that are great for this ‘dosha’ of mine.  I must say, it has done wonders for me and my energy levels the following morning, not to mention the quality of sleep I actually have during the night. This is for sure one positive change that I have done in my life. It is hard to get into bed at 10:00pm though, because this is often when the house is quiet ( not on the weekend when my son is up later than normal), and it’s also a really cool time for me to write, listen to music and chill with my partner, or do something that I wish focus on even if that’s just read a magazine. *Sighs* so I find myself going to bed often times after 10:00pm. I have modified this to around 11:30pm!! And I don’t have any problem getting up for around the 6:00am mark, as long as it’s not a chilly morning and the house is not too cold. 

I really love getting up early, it’s a great time for me to clarify my thoughts, as again the house is quiet! I can write, journal, do a twenty minute yoga session or use my exercise bike, and start my day calmly and refreshed. It’s also really nice to actually sit with a cup of tea and watch the sun rise from the window, or balcony if it’s not to chilly out.

Quit the Fags!!

You know this was probably the best thing I have done in my life. I don’t even know why I started this shit, as it was so hard to break the habit. My mum died of cancer, and so did my dad, they both were smokers and heavy ones at that. I started this habit in my teens to be ‘cool’ I guess, and as life went on and became more stressful, I turned to it as a way to coping. I also used it as a social thing while in my twenties while out drinking, at parties, or bars etc. When I got pregnant with my son ( he is now nine) I did manage to stop, as it was disgusting while pregnant. I was one of these women who did not know they were pregnant, in fact my test showed up as negative and then I went back to the bin a day or two later and saw the faint line. I  didn’t believe it as it was so faint. I retested and hey-presto my son was in the oven cooking, I was pregnant and so I was no longer interested in smoking.

It was not until my mum died, and I saw exactly what lung cancer does to a person, and how it really is just not something I would want for myself. The thing is, later in life in my thirties I only really associated smoking with dinner and having a coffee, I was never a heavy smoker it was just a habit. So when my mum died in 2021 I really made a conscious effort to stop. I used Nicorette gum and for me it worked as I was never a very heavy smoker. I didn’t manage to crack the habit on my first try, as I was trying to stop during a very stressful time ( Covid-19, death of my mother etc). However I managed to do it. Plus, my partner does not smoke, and he loves exercise and fitness so it made no sense to continue. Not only that, I myself as a yoga fanatic and healthy eater the habit of smoking just really does not go hand- in- hand with who I actually am, in terms of trying to look after my body and health generally.

Commitment To Journal Writing

 

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Journal writing has been a part of me since I was about maybe fourteen years old, however, I made a commitment to daily journal writing about six years ago. This has been life changing! In so many ways, I have gained clarity, understanding of myself, feelings, and the world around me. It has helped me to action plan, think about the future, and manifest the kind of things I hope for into reality for me. I think that the practice of daily journal writing even if it is a few lines can be helpful in the present moment, and in the future when looking back on things. It’s a great life long habit for me. It’s the one place I am totally honest, God knows what people will think after I die and they read them LOL.

Moving Near The Water 

 

About six years ago, I upsticks and left the major city in the depths of south London where I was born and raised. I moved to a location near water, a lake to be exact. Now, while the lake was not as pretty as the one in the picture, was wonderful! It even had a man-made beach. Since then I have moved, but I made a conscious decision to live (in the city) that is right by lakes and water again. If I drive less than ten mins I will reach a lake, and I don’t think I could live in a location that does not have access to a lake, green spaces, or somewhere I can connect with nature again. I will always be a ‘city girl’ I’m from London, so of course that will never change. I love the vibe and buzz that cities have no matter where they are in the world. What I have learned though is that water is essential to me, it just does something that helps to keep me balanced and yes, sane! Not only that creative, I have plotted ideas, stories, and things I want to write about, right by the water. I have learned that I really enjoy walks around them, being near them, dipping my feet in them, sitting by them, and just observing the world go by from a location surrounded by water and a few random ducks. This was something that really changed my life in a positive way.

What about you? What changes have you made?

‘Nothing’: Random Word Play

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So following on from my initial ‘random word play’ short writing, tonight I’m looking at the word ‘nothing’. This is the word my eyes landed on as I randomly opened the dictionary on my desk.

Pronoun: 1. not anything. 2. something that is not important or interesting. 3. nought!

The word ‘nothing’ comes from the Old English word naping and nan (meaning none/ not one) nap and ‘thing’= meaning nothing, came into the English language around the 16th century . By 1961 it became used as an adjective according to Etymology online dictionary

What do you think of when you think of ‘nothing’?

By this I mean the word, not when you literally try to think of ‘nothing at all’. To me the word nothing feels like a very empty word to me. I don’t know if this is because I know full well the meaning of the word, but I really mean this. As as I sat and contemplated the word the first thing that came to mind was literally ’empty’. Then I started to think, when was the last time I felt nothing–empty in other words? 

I’d probably say, not to long ago, around 2021 when I learned that my mum was ill and had been for sometime, but  she hadn’t said anything. I really didn’t know what to think, feel, or even say. Part of me felt angry at first and couldn’t understand why this was happening. Then I realised that there literally ( at that point in time) was ‘nothing’ that I could have done to make things better for anyone, or change anything. All I could do was along with my sisters help prepare mum for her journey out of this world, and at the same time prepare myself for that loss. The thing is I could not do either very well, I kept trying to search for the meaning of things… of life! This was after the feeling of ‘nothing’ and empty started to progress and mould itself into a new emotion.dictionary-ge95f59802_1920

Becoming Still

When I think about other times in life that I have felt a sense of ‘nothing’, what usually has followed this is a period of stillness. I am by nature a very reflective person, while I may be still in my actions, contact with others, or even my progress with writing my mind never seems to stop! I find that when I am moving through the state of nothing-ness (outside of my experience with my mum) I literally withdraw but overthink so much.

Is Becoming Still a Bad or Good Thing?

When I reflected on this, I realised and felt that generally speaking ( there I go again using that same word and phase from last week!) No, becoming still is not a bad thing. There was a point in my life when  I completely changed my life and direction, but while I made all those changes inside of me I was very still. I sat back and really thought about what I wanted out of life, where I was and was not going, and defining what I saw for myself and future. It was wonderful, it lasted a long-ass time too! I was still for a while and that stillness did wonders!

How Does One Become Still?

I think that before you decide how, why is the question? One thing I have learned is the beauty of thinking about what’s needed and why before I make a full decision. I have also learned to centre myself around ‘what’s needed’ as much as possible these days also. Become clear on why you may need to take a pause and experience the beauty of ‘nothing’ and then, withdraw yourself from any form of attachment to situations, people, places, or things you need to become still from. This will look different for everyone, whatever withdrawal looks like to you–do it. It could be your time, energy, money, resources, or even just the blessing of having your support and presence offered to others. Once you withdraw, think, reflect, and make lists of things about what you think your next move should be. Weigh up the pros and cons of each item and select the best course of action for you next, after  you leave your period of ‘still’. I find that being still often involves going deep inside one’s self too, it’s a path of discovery even if you are not actually taking and kind of action towards or from anything, you’re simply exploring from a still place.

Nothing, Not Important, Uninteresting

Now, this is what the English dictionary would have us believe the definition of ‘nothing’ means. What is not important, and should be given the energy of ‘nothing’  in life generally I think is:

  • Making ‘wars’ and conflict for no reason other than selfish gain.
  • The past, because it’s the past and should not really shape the future or continue into the future if the past has been a negative experience. Other than for lessons to be learned, I see no importance of negative past experiences to be held on to.
  • Worrying about things. It brings stress, impacts on health, and keeps you stuck in a place where you can’t see the woods from the trees! You can’t think clearly.

When I think of the dictionary definition of this word, it leads me to think of the word, action, and feeling of ‘release.’ This is due to the above three points I see as nothing, not important, and uninteresting. 

If anything, what would you release right now? Or what do you realise after reflection really needs to be released? So that you can feel ‘nothing’ and move into a state of ‘becoming still’ to figure out where you’re going next?

In conclusion, I feel after writing this nothing, stillness, and release can all (potentially) bring one thing; clarity!

Gosh, I’m a Certified Miley Cyrus Fan? #flowers

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It has taken me years to really sit up and take notice of Miley Cyrus as an artist for her actual singing, rather than any shenanigans she’s been up to. Not because I don’t think she’s talented, and yes her shenanigans do make me laugh but the style of music just never really grabbed me, must be my age. But I must say, when I saw her last year perform Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’ song from an era that I was not even born yet, and Miley clearly was not born since she was born in the 90’s I said to myself, ‘yeah, I like her she does have a really good singing voice’.

As I write this what has made me sit up, stop what I was doing, and write is her new song ‘Flowers’. I have been hearing it everywhere! And if you caught my last post on three things I can’t live with out, I mentioned my Internet radio, and all the global radio stations I like and have discovered.

So anyway, I first heard ‘Flowers’ on Cherie FM, which is a radio station based in France. I didn’t know it was Miley Cyrus singing but I said to myself, ‘I’m sure that’s her.’ She has a distinct voice, and I instantly fell in love with the song. It just came on again on the French radio station as I was writing this Sunday night, and I stopped to see if I could watch the music video on YouTube. I must say, she looks fantastic in the video. Miley’s body shape is not the over exaggerated curvy figures we often see, whether they are natural or enhanced with surgery. Whatever workouts she has been doing has really done wonders to enhance her naturally more athletic shape, she honestly looks great! But back to the song, it’s a wonderful song and it has literally certified me as a Miley Cyrus fan… I think?, along with her cover version of Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’. Go Miley you make me want to work out watching you! Great vocals, lyrics, positive message, and a really cool song I always turn up when it’s on. I also think that seeing more fit and toned body shapes that are natural like Miley’s and even Britney Spears’ is a really positive thing for younger girls. Stay away from the surgery!!

It’s wonderful when an artist or creative captures the attention of an unassuming potential fan, or someone who would not normally gravitate towards their artistry. It speaks volumes about the artist’s or creator’s appeal.

Are there any artists, creators, songs etc., that you would not normally rock with… but do? Have you heard ‘Flowers’? What do you think of the song?

Daily Writing Prompt: How Would You Rate Your Confidence?

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How would you rate your confidence level?

Before a I could answer this writing prompt I had to think a little about what confidence means to me personally, then pull out the dictionary. To me confidence is: not how cocky you are, but how much you believe in something or know something. This ‘thing’ could be a situation, person, place, or literal thing. Confidence to me is also not about ‘having faith’ in a situation, person, place or thing. This is because ‘faith’ indicates ( to me) a hope for something, where as confidence ( to me) is a knowing of something or already believing rather than hoping in something.

The English dictionary defines confidence as a noun:

‘The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

“We had every confidence in the staff”

It also moves toward ‘faith’ which is different from my own definition. To me confidence can be a noun, or even a verb something you actively do!

So, how would I rate my own confidence?

Well, see now… that depends on what we’re talking about. To me confidence is a knowing and belief that is unshakable in something. If we are talking about how confident am I as a person– then very. This is because I know who I am, and believe in myself as a good and positive person, human, spirit, and energy. I don’t hope to be a good and positive person, I just am. I don’t hope to know who I am, I just am who I am and know me. The latter is because I have taken the time to know– me, mind you this just does not happen over night. Have you taken that time to know you?

I think for me when it comes to answering this question anything outside of confidence in me as a person, can be variable.

Confidence in:

myself- high.

My job- high.

Life- rather high. ( Because I am positive in mindset also.)

Other people- mmm, questionable! Depends who and what I need to have confidence in with another person.

For me confidence is really about how much you believe and know something to be true, or believe and know something generally speaking. This will result in the level of confidence I have in others for me.

How Can You Be More Confident?

For me this starts with the belief in something, not the hope, need, desire, or want for it. This is because all the latter outside of belief to me suggests that there is a chance that something may not, or can not be! So to be more confident for me the starting point is what you do and don’t believe, and I mean what you really believe!

Take the self, if you believe certain things ( positive) about yourself your confidence will show. Obviously the reverse of this will result in that too– lack of confidence. Another thing for me about confidence is that you have to love yourself, and I really mean this. If a person loves themselves and is fond of themselves in as many ways as possible, this actually does show in your energy. People outside who know you, or may be even don’t and have just met you will see it. This is a good thing for those who have ill intentions for you! They will know you love yourself ( with confidence), too much to put up with any rubbish. People will also understand that when it comes to you, they need to handle you a certain way, or just don’t bother at all!

When it comes to having more confidence in other people, situations, places, and things if I’m honest I feel that only other people, places, situations, and things can help keep another person’s confidence in them high and valid. By this I mean, if they are dishonest, not loyal, treat you a certain way you don’t appreciate etc., of course you can’t and won’t have confidence in them with this behaviour. Which means only the external person or thing’s actions toward you or me, and what they do or don’t do, will be what will keep yours or my own confidence in them. As individuals I don’t think we are responsible for keeping confidence in things, people, places, or situations that clearly don’t give us any reason to!

So in a nutshell, I’d rate my personal confidence as high, and I would place this down to two things I have already mentioned

  1. I believe in myself, abilities, who I am, etc. Even if I am in a situation that is new to me I try to hold a belief that I can ‘do it’ somehow LOL.
  2. I have an unshakable love for myself, which mind you I didn’t always honour. By this I don’t mean I have never not liked myself, on the contrary. I have just not always honoured the like and love I have for me actively by making sure that I treat myself in a way that shows I love myself, and put clear boundaries in place with other situations, people, places, and things to show I love myself. Once I realised and learned this I would say this is where confidence ( in my definition of it) came about, as a person.

So… my parting message is, believe in yourself, and always, always, always like yourself at least if you don’t love yourself (yet). Work towards loving yourself and your confidence will increase, shine, and show to everyone else on the outside. Even down to how you present yourself will shift, without you even knowing it, your attitude to life will also, you naturally will see the good in things and handle the hard times better, and most importantly your attitude and tolerance to bullshit will shift too!

Go out and be confident!

Book Review: Conversations With God Book 1 ( Non-Fiction)

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Well, what can I say the title of the book is not one I would naturally gravitate to, as I simply am not religious at all but highly spiritual. Judging by the title I would have assumed this was a very religious book, on the contrary I learned so much and fell right in love with it!

Conversations with God Book 1 began a series that has been changing millions of lives for more than ten years. Finally, the bestselling series is now a movie, starring Henry Czerny (The Pink Panther and Clear and Present Danger) and Ingrid Boulting (The Last Tycoon). Produced and directed by Stephen Simon (producer of Somewhere in Time and What Dreams May Come) and distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films and Fox Home Entertainment, the theatrical release is set for October 27, 2006. The movie is the true account of Walsch (played by Cierny), who went from an unemployed homeless man to an “accidental spiritual messenger” and author of the bestselling book

My Review- 5 mind-blowing stars!

This book is totally not what I expected, I found out about it as I was listening to a YouTuber who I follow. The way she described the book and took a passage from it related to what she was talking about, made me sit up and take note. I listened to the audio-version and followed along with the paperback. The first thing to say is this is not a book on religion, God, the Bible in the context that you may may imagine it to be this book covers:

  • The myths of man-made beliefs about God and religion.
  • Why it’s better to not confirm to mainstream religions.
  • Discovering why you are here, who you are, and how the natural laws of the universe and things like Law of Attraction really work.

I must say, this book opened my eyes mainly via the way that it is written. The author penned it in what he calls a series of meditative ‘conversations with God’. He wrote ‘an angry letter’ to ‘God’ complaining about life, then started to literally hear the responses to his questions. This is commonly called ‘automatic writing’ if you have ever heard of it, you write in a meditative  state. The book follows the author as he poses some serious questions about life, the meaning of it, life after death, and the universe to the ‘God’ or voice he hears.

We as readers read the conversation as it happens, and it is is just wonderful. What I really liked about this book is that there was a male and female narrator so we are not led to believe that whatever or whoever you consider to be ‘God’ or a creator is male alone. In fact this book and the responses the author heard and recorded makes it pretty clear that there is no real ‘God’ in the way we are led to believe, just energy.

Generally speaking this is a very eye-opening book that those with an open mind, spiritually inclined, and non- religious would appreciate. If you believe in the universe and the wonders of it, believe that we are all energy and connected you may want to check out this book, and see exactly what answers the author got, during his conversations with ‘God’ and I use the term ‘God’ very loosely, you can also say conversations with an energy in the universe.

There are four books in the series and I went straight on to book two. This first book focuses mainly on self-realisation, understanding the myths around the universe, ‘God’ in the sense of a man in the sky who is a jealous and vengeful God, who punishes is really not what we should be buying into, and this may offend those who are deeply religious. If that’s you stay away from this book. It’s such a refreshing, uplifting, and spiritual non-faith based  read for the those with a curious mind, it could even be life changing if it lands in the right hands. I recommend it.

Daily Writing Prompt: What Would I Do More Of, Daily?

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What do you wish you could do more every day?

Great question, in all honesty it’s not actually writing LOL. I’m not sure if I should really admit to that. That said, I must be real and as I considered this question at this moment in time, I sincerely wish I could do more yoga every day.

In particular this yoga asana here called Pincha Mayurasana   it has been a dream for many years! I attended my first yoga class in the depths of south London, when I was around nineteen or twenty years old. I was a member of a gym called Fitness First I don’t even know if they are still around, but anyway I first discovered the yoga mat here. My first class was a Hatha style yoga class which I enjoyed, as this style of yoga is focused on breath work and holding the asanas.

How Did My Love Develop?

Well, I think it was more the teacher that really sparked my love for yoga. After I attended the first Hatha style class and  experienced for the first time the feeling I had physically, mentally, and emotionally after I went on to do more of his classes. My teacher was a mature man, probably in his fifties at the time ( this was about twenty years ago), very flexible, dynamic, gave great instruction, played attention to all his students, and had a ‘vibe’ to him which was a bit hippy like and I liked it. He really held my attention and made me want to do the best I could, I found him encouraging, his name was Frank, and yep you guessed it his classes were always PACKED. You had to get there early to get a good spot in Frank’s classes.

He taught Vinyasa and Ashtanga style classes which are much, much more dynamic and focused not so much on holding the poses, but the flow from one asana pose to another using the breath. This I love, love, love, oh my gosh I love it!! I fell in love with both these styles of yoga. I  bought a yoga mat from Frank, and completely abandoned the gym LOL. I remember paying an expensive gym membership and only going to yoga class and the sauna, and occasionally running on the treadmill. But Frank’s classes were well worth the gym membership fee to me.

I moved from the area and stopped my classes, in fact I didn’t practice for many, many years, after going at least twice a week for a good year. I did notice the changes in my body during that year and after, but I could not do the Pincha Mayurasana pose yet!

From Yoga Student To Yoga Teacher and Fanatic!

So fast forward may be ohhh I’d say about six years of being out of practice since I first started at around nineteen/twenty years old, and then trying to restart it again at home, and spotting an offer on a yoga teacher’s course. This is what happened, if you remember the website Wowcher I don’t even know if they are still around, I bought an online course from their deals to work towards gaining a qualification to teach yoga. Even though I was out of practice and very inflexible and unfit. I wanted to study the art of it more for me, I had no intention of ever teaching. I sadly  I didn’t complete the course on my first attempt, life happened, I was taken in different directions, I was with a terrible ex-partner at the time, and my lack of energy meant that this goal was left behind.

That said, once I got my shit together, left the most horrid relationship I have ever had, and moved on in life I slowly went back to it. I would try to make the effort but this was mainly  with online  videos and not via formal classes. 

At the start of the pandemic a wonderful blessing happened, since my first attempt at yoga teacher training in my mid-twenties the process had changed. It meant that you had to go away to a retreat and do it in person, a 200 or 300 hour course in a remote place ( normally somewhere very exotic mind you), and it cost an arm and a leg! It excluded many yoga lovers, aspiring teachers, and people like me who just want to study it, qualify, and not necessarily teach! This was due to the cost of it, and having to upsticks for a week or more to go there.

When the pandemic hit in 2020 everything moved online. Somehow I ended up with a promotional email announcing that you could now do your teacher training and study online! No in person trips to India, Barley, or an exotic location. I jumped at it, bought the course and it was only a few hundred dollars. Normally it would be a few thousand dollars.  The cost reduction was due to the pandemic I would imagine. I did my 200 hour training course via a company called Yoga Renew, it was fantastic, the online videos, course materials, Zoom calls, free resources, everything about it was just amazing. Then I managed to get the same offer for the 300 hour course so you can qualify as an advanced yoga teacher, so of course I took it and paid it when it was on offer.

Now, I still can’t get into Pincha Mayurasana pose and I am still no where near as flexible and fit as I would want to be, but for me the rational for undertaking yoga teacher training has never really been to teach. It has and still is all about me! My love for the practice, how it makes me feel once I am done, and during the sessions is something I really can’t put into words, it’s a whole vibe!

So anyway, as of this moment I am working on my 300 hour course which is focused more on the ‘yogi lifestyle,’ philosophy, history, and spiritual side of the practice. Normally, when one thinks of yoga we think of the poses (asanas) and the visual form of yoga. Seeing a person bend themselves like a pretzel into a cool shape really is cool! Even for me after a twenty-one year love affair with yoga, but  this is just one side of yoga and the very ‘western’  or Instagram approach to yoga.  The 300 hour course teaches you this principle.  My reason for undertaking the 300 hour was to make yoga a life-long learning process and habit… as I practice moving into Pincha Mayurasana pose also! And to understand the roots of the practice, the theology of it and where it comes from. We also study anatomy in more detail and eating habits. All this is something that does interest me a lot.

How Much Yoga Would I Do A Day?

I’ll keep it real with you, I find it so hard in the winter months to make time for my practice, and this is because I like to do it in the morning as soon as I wake up. I find it hard ( when it is cold) to really want to get on my mat and stretch. I aim for at least twenty mins each morning, even if all I do is stretch. This has not always been consistent and comes in dribs and drabs sometimes LOL. But I do make an effort. Because as I write this I am aiming to finish my 300 hour yoga teacher’s advanced course in 2023, I am being more strict about doing some yoga daily or minimum three times a week. If I had more time I would do at least one- two hours each day, every day, I would love to also do it outside near water somewhere. I would also like to explore the different types of yoga too. 

If I had more time, I would love to go to a class… actually I probably could if I am honest, I just need to find one local to me that I like. Now that’s an idea as I write this. I think if I had a community of other yoga lovers I belonged to, I would be much more likely to keep it up, and that is saying something to me personally as I write this! I do follow may popular yoga teacher’s on YouTube and often do the lessons that the post though.

My Favourite Asanas ( Poses)

  • Pincha Mayurasana obviously! I think that it’s the look of it I like. The perfect social media ‘good morning’ post.
  • Pigeon Pose I really enjoy.
  • Sun Salutations I adore
  • Moon Salutations I love.
  • Low and High Lung.
  • Runner’s Pose.
  • King Dancer’s pose- I adore.
  • Downward Facing Dog- I really love.

This list is pretty endless, it’s hard to pin point just one. I would say  for sure there is not a yoga asana that I don’t like, or avoid. I give them all a try even if I can’t do it perfectly.

I really do love this form of exercise, I think it really is one that connects and addresses balance and good feelings in the mind, body, and soul. This also spills over into your daily life, which is what I like about it too. If you really apply yourself to the concept of yoga and detach during your practice, you will be taken to a place you’ve never experienced and always want to go back to.

What about you, what would you do more of? Do you do yoga?

Notes on Mother’s Day: What is Motherhood really about? #mothersday

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You know it wasn’t until I sat down on my balcony to look out at the garden with a coffee, that I started to seriously look at motherhood in a different light. In particular my own path and journey to motherhood, with it being Mother’s Day (United Kingdom) today I’d like to extend a congratulations and high-five to all the mothers—worldwide, not just in the United Kingdom, for making it through another year.

If I were to include my nine month pregnancy, this would be my tenth year of motherhood. Personally, I do believe that once a woman conceives, she’s a mother even if the child is still in her womb baking LOL. Once I reflected on my own ten year journey I realised something, motherhood is a role, motherhood is a duty, and motherhood is a job yes all this is true. That said, as women and mothers I felt that it’s really important not to forget yourself outside of this role, duty, and job that you have. This led me to question what motherhood is really about? And if it’s just about that care and nurture that we provide. I don’t think so, not anymore. I’m rather surprised that it has taken me up until my tenth year of celebrating Mother’s Day and motherhood to conclude this.

 Once my thoughts started to go down this path, I started to ponder if motherhood really is just being a mother? And while you may assume that I started to include things like the skills we gain, the patience we learn, and the soft skills that come along with motherhood, as being ‘things outside of this’  that motherhood is about. Well, I never once included any of this.

I personally came to the conclusion that: when it comes to what motherhood is really about, it is not just the role, duty, job, and soft skills set we acquire. Motherhood is about you, me, her, she the person mums are outside of motherhood, that also makes motherhood ‘motherhood.’ Talking directly to any mother who may read this today ( and the partner of any mother too there’s somethings you can take from this), today is a day to celebrate the journey and what we have done, and all we are yet to do as mothers—yes. However, it’s also a day to celebrate:

  • Who we actually are—outside of motherhood.
  • How we see ourselves—outside of motherhood.
  • What we want for ourselves—outside of motherhood

I don’t want my writing to turn into an ‘anti Mother’s Day’ post, while most people are probably writing about the bliss of it, and how to celebrate it but…based on my thought process this morning on the above points,  it led me to four key writing prompts or areas to consider and think about, if you’re not much of a journal writer. I’d like to encourage as many women who are mothers, or are about to become mothers and ‘with child’ ( I always find that expression makes me smile  and chuckle a  bit, whenever I hear it or read it in very early era books or television programs, but by this I mean pregnant! You get what I mean), I’d like us to think about:

How Do You See Yourself Outside of Being a Mother?

Seriously,  who are you? What and who do you actually envision you’d like to become, be, or currently are if you are sure about this? As I pondered this question this morning it came to me that, motherhood really should not be what defines a woman. Yes, it’s something to be proud of hugely proud of, I am over the moon to be a mother and love the role. Which, when I think about it is really cool considering I was never the kind of woman to yearn for children from a young age, but I always got a long with children and liked them, I just never focused on the motherhood path for me personally.

Getting back to the question, who are you though? How do you see yourself? This can be interpreted by using time frames, adjectives, other roles you do, your goals etc. For me I wrote down all the things I see myself as. I don’t mean things like ‘kind’, ‘considerate,’ and personality characteristics, I mean actual tangible things like ‘writer’, ‘creative’, ‘advocate’ etc. Try this, take a moment to consider who it is you are or want to be outside of your role as a mother. Don’t focus on your character, everyone who knows you already knows your character rocks! Who are you outside of your character?

 

What Do You Enjoy Outside of Motherhood?

Again, seriously think about this. Motherhood takes up a hella-lot-of time, especially if your child is I would say under five, or has any kind of special learning, physical, or health need. Outside of this if your child does not have this, or is over five, it’s still a very time consuming role in other ways. Depending on your support system with your role as a mother, you might  be a woman that finds yourself with very limited time for much else but… motherhood.

Even if you fall into this category now, or have done, we all do at some point. Children don’t pop out of the womb aged over five! If only. Still regardless, ask yourself, ‘what do you enjoy outside of being a mum?’ Don’t let these things be focused on other people, or even linked to other people. Like being a girlfriend, wife, partner, aunty etc. In fact, don’t even let these things have anything to do with any form of care or responsibility for anyone or anything else! Or anything that is romantically linked to another person. Focus on you and what you genuinely enjoy.  Yes, I am encouraging you to be selfish right now.

For me of course writing was on the list, it’s my job. I also had things like drawing, painting, music, spirituality books, music, yoga etc. Actual things I can participate in, learn about, or do for myself, by myself for my own pleasure. Do the same, make a list for yourself, you’ll see why this is important next.

Outside of Motherhood, In This Present Moment in Time What Do You Wish To Pursue?

Referring back to the list you just made, on what you actually enjoy outside of being a mother  take a look and see if there’s anything there you’d like to start, restart, follow up with, or pursue. So, if you had things that you enjoy but have never really ‘had time for’, this Mother’s Day find a few moments to sit and think about how you can change this. What is it on your list you’d like to achieve, do, or work towards, complete etc? Prioritise them in order.

How, Outside of Motherhood Will You Pursue Who You Are?

If you have seriously considered the last three questions, what you have just done is defined who and what you are outside of motherhood, and what you like to do as a person—not mother, and what you’d like to move forward with. Now, it’s time to think about how you will pursue who you are, and what you want outside of your wonderful, even if a little stressful and time consuming role as a mother. It could be such simple things like how you would carve out a tiny, tiny, small amount of time to do what you enjoy outside of motherhood. Or research into how you can achieve something you have had in mind, outside of motherhood. This last step here is about remembering, ‘who the fuck you are!’ Outside of just ‘Mum.’

The people who call you ‘Mum’ are very important, they are beautiful individuals who need you, your support, guidance, love and attention yes. But, Mum also needs to remember who she was before giving birth, or wanted to be, or is currently and doesn’t have time for, alongside the path of motherhood.

So, while you’re celebrating Mother’s Day if you’re in the United Kingdom, or even if you pick up this random writing at any other point, please from one mother to another, if you take nothing away from my dribble and random thinking out loud, just remember who you are and what it is you want out of life. Your child(ren) are/is a blessing yes, but you are also put here to become the best version of you and who you want to be,  have some well-deserved fun, goals, dreams, aspirations, and achievements under your belt that are not linked to your little darlings. Having a child or children can sometimes help put you on that path, it did for me, but I have learned over the last ten years of motherhood that if I was not careful, this shit would take over who I am and I would lose me, even if the process of motherhood in some areas of my life really did show me who I was. Remember who you are, and what you enjoy, and go out and enjoy it. What are some of the things you wish to pursue? Who are you, and how do you see yourself after reading this? Let me know in your comments.

Happy Mother’s Day!

xoxo

‘Reinventing Rita’ Giveaway! By Nancy Christie ( Women’s Fiction)

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Reinventing Rita

A Midlife Moxie Novel #1

by Nancy Christie

Genre: Women’s Fiction

Is fifty too old to start over and reinvent yourself?

Rita Reynolds is an empty nester with a second shot at life. Her college-age son is spending the summer with his new girlfriend instead of at home with Rita as she had hoped. Her part-time job might be ending, which will toss her back into the job market. Underscoring it all is the realization that since her divorce, she’s been coasting on the highway of life. Now, the bumps in the road are too big to ignore.

A chance to teach a six-week baking class brings Rita’s almost-forgotten dream of becoming a professional baker back to the surface. Can she overcome her fear that it might be too late for a fresh start? With the help of two friends—Donna, her employer, and Karen, her ex-husband’s second wife—she’s about to find out.

Amazon * Apple * B&N * Kobo * Bookbub * Goodreads

Nancy Christie has been making up stories since she learned how to write, and she plans to continue as long as her fingers can work the keyboard. She can often be found walking the streets of her neighborhood, reciting lines of dialogue or recording plot ideas on her cell phone before they escape her mind.

Reinventing Rita (the first in her Midlife Moxie novel series) is Nancy’s sixth book. Her other books include The Gifts of Change, Rut-Busting Book for Writers, Rut-Busting Book for Authors, Traveling Left of Center and Other Stories and Peripheral Visions and Other Stories. Mistletoe Magic, her third fiction collection, will be released late 2023. Her books and short stories have won awards and earned contest placements.

Nancy is the creator and host of the Living the Writing Life podcast and founder of the annual “Celebrate Short Fiction” Day. She’s a member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, Women’s Fiction Writers Association, and the Florida Writers Association. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Goodreads. For more about Nancy, visit her website at www.nancychristie.com.

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram * Bookbub * Amazon * Goodreads

Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!

$10 Amazon

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Daily Writing Prompt: Do You Believe in Fate or Destiny?

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Do you believe in fate/destiny?

In nutshell, yes I do. Why? Because I feel that fate and destiny are two things that every soul, human, and person have a part to play in.

What is Fate, Though?

‘Fate’… meant to be, making things happen, this is also a verb in the dictionary defined as ‘to be destined to happen, turn out, or act in a particular way’. This means that ‘fate’ is an action, and action is something that is done, and what do we do as people= take action and do stuff both good or bad.

Given this basic way of looking at what fate is, to me it would appear that fate is a very real thing, and of course as a verb in this context you and I can have control over it to a certain extent. Not all the time of course, but sometimes based on the actions we take. The other way of looking at fate, where we don’t have control and things are ‘just meant to happen’ I still believe in, even if you remove the action part that a person can play. I feel this way as I believe in the laws of the universe you could say, and I do really believe in things like astrology and the ‘mystical and unexplainable’ side of life. I feel that the fate that we don’t have control over with our actions is down to things like this.

Destiny?

Yes, of course I believe in this because we all have a purpose, simply put. Which to me personally is your ‘destiny’ it’s your purpose, where you’re heading or not heading. Just like fate you can play a part in this, and the universe and unexplained things can also play a part.

I think the older I have got, the more I have been able to see that in reality we can all to some extent create the life, goals, dreams, ideas, or whatever it is that we strive for. Even in the face of adversity, all you need is careful planning, be prepared to keep working and I really mean this, and be willing to take a few risks, challenges, and not let fear guide you too much to the point you become stagnate and don’t reach for whatever it is you want. Given this, this is why I feel that fate and destiny are real, you can create them for yourself, and you are always supported by unexplained things along the way.

Should You Let Fate and Destiny Guide You?

Absolutely, embrace whatever comes your way in life good or bad. But I don’t believe in being ridged and not moving, thinking, or living outside of the ‘box’ that destiny and fate can create. By this I mean, oftentimes if we think or feel ‘this is meant to be’ or ‘this is my fate’ there is a chance we can become stuck on this, inflexible, and not open to what else may present itself or what you could take action to create! This is where I feel that fate and destiny should guide you … and that’s it guide you, not define or trap you.

Can you Change Your Fate or Destiny?

Yes, I would say so and I have even experienced this myself. This is what I call life’s U-turns. Like I said fate is a verb, an action, whatever you do as an action can become your destiny, so if you are not keen on the way your fate is looking, change your action and your destiny or even destination will change and you can move in a new direction, hence a change in fate and destiny. It’s called living and life LOL.

How Can You Be Sure of Your Fate or Destiny?

Mmm, I don’t really think you can as only two things in life are for sure death and paying taxes! So all a person can do is have an idea about these things and work towards the outcome (fate and destiny wise) they would like. If your actions are in alignment with the fate or destiny you want, there’s a likely chance your fate, destiny, and outcome will be desirable … hopefully.

Are Destiny and Fate linked to God or Religion?

Not for me no. I am of no real religion, in fact I’d say I am not religious but deeply believe in the spiritual side of things not linked to what we have been fed is ‘God’. My creator, or person in charge is not in alignment with what any mainstream religion would have you believe. Am I against it? Mmm, no it’s just not for me.

Do you believe in fate or destiny? Or is this just something people like to believe in?