Finding Your Purpose in Life: Where To Start?

I’ve really been slacking with my #90DayBlogChallenge that I set myself, but as I woke up this morning this dawned on me,‘finding one’s purpose in life and where to start?‘ As I progressed through the day the need to shed some light on this, that may help others became stronger. Especially with the pandemic and many people experiencing instability with work, or income. It’s an ideal time to really sit down and ask yourself have you found your purpose? And how would you even go about this?

But what is purpose?

Purpose/ˈpəːpəs

Noun

  1. The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”The purpose of the meeting is to appoint a trustee.”
  2. A person’s sense of resolve or determination.”There was a new sense of purpose in her step as she set off.”

Verb

  1. Have as one’s intention or objective.”God has allowed suffering, even purposed it.”

According to the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition above, it’s a reason for something or could even be an action also. So think about this: purpose means reason, so what’s one’s reason for living, breathing, getting up. Secondly, what is one placed here to do, achieve,or be in this life?

How could/do you find your purpose?

I won’t lie I did find my own purpose a good while back, years back actually. That said, it took a while for me to accept it and move towards it. For me it kind of just landed in my lap following a change in direction. I’d say it ( my purpose) found me. This was probably on reflection a much harder way to find one’s purpose, why? Simply because I had to wait for it to find me, I had to have a change in direction, I had to remain in a state of what I like to call ‘no man’s’ land’ and not realise that the direction I was travelling in, while I enjoyed it, it was not really the divine path laid out for me. Finding my purpose could have made me happier and it did, once it landed in my lap. So for anyone who stumbles across this random blog post I’d say– seek it out now your own purpose. You could save some of the best years of your life being wasted.

Ask yourself?

What do I enjoy doing?

What am I good at/ what’s my talent?

What would I like to be good at?

What have I overcome/ survived/ been through/ or have experience in that could help others? Or even make me some money?

The first two questions will show you clearly where or how you could spend your time, and that activity might not feel like a drag. This is a major thing for finding one’s purpose, the purpose should ideally not feel like something that you’d only be in the mood to do less than 75 percent of the time. You really must enjoy the purpose whatever it is for your own sanity, and the likely-hood that you’d continue with it.

If you really hone in on your talent this is also an excellent opportunity to find your purpose. Think of soft skills also that we have as people. If you’re a good listener, good at giving advice, or supporting people these talents can lend themselves to professions/directions you may not have considered.

Sometimes, things we enjoy that could well be our purpose in life we need to up-skill a bit in, take writing for example. Even a writer can have a natural talent ( like myself), but there are things to learn along the way. For sure I didn’t know everything, or as much as I know now to be anywhere as good as I am now, even if I had a natural talent to start with. This does not mean that you’re no good at your purpose or initial talent, it could just need to be honed a bit more. This leads on to what would I like to be good at? See if you have a talent, interest, skills, something you identify that could be your purpose, it’s important to consider if you’d be prepared to do what it takes to be good at it, if you needed to work o it– what would you like to be good at in other words. Something that would not overwhelm you or bore you.

Lastly, in life we all go through the shit, the motions, the drama, and it’s often in these times that we have our greatest growth. Not only that these testing times can cause us to change direction, or gain some kind of experience from hindsight that could really help others. This is key, whatever you’ve overcome, experienced, survived, grown from can be your purpose in life that could be used to help others. Or even give you a new stream of income, and great pleasure. Also, the help, support, advice, service whatever it is that’s your one talent, if it does not feel like something you would only want to do less than 75 percent of the time, then you’re on to a winner also!

How can finding your purpose really benefit you though?

Well if it’s not obvious yet, I read a book called Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life it became so clear to me from the study the author carried out into the Japanese way of life that, those who had found a purpose in life not only lived longer, they were physically healthier and happier. These are clearly the main benefits. From my own experience of finding my purpose while I don’t know if I will live longer, until it happens LOL I do know that, I get up each day with a whole different vibe than I did before. No matter what is going on personally, or even globally as I tend to keep up with world events I feel good, very good generally personally. I am happier, I actually am healthier my habits for sure are! I wake up before or with the sunrise and that first hour is spent only on me alone, doing something I want to start my day well. Whether that be listening to a podcast with positive news, affirmations, listening to an audio or just a moment of appreciation. The latter is the other major thing I’ve found with finding my purpose– I am full of appreciation and gratitude even in times of hardship and sorrow. This kind of attitude in life can really help you get through each day. Especially in these times we’re all living in with the pandemic, and political heat in some parts of the world, that does impact on others watching the politics play out. So friend, if you have not really considered if you’re on the right track or your purpose in life, with all these benefits to your health and well-being, please do read over the points above, reflect, and reach towards your purpose don’t wait for it to find you!

Daily Writing Prompt: Calling… My Calling Was Bitter Sweet, But Well Worth it!

Calling

 

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I’ve not responded to a WordPress daily writing prompt for what feels like months. I know, I know I always say ‘ so much has been going on.’ Truth be told it has… Where to even start?  Firstly, I should stick to the writing prompt word ‘calling’, then update you as to why I have not blogged a personal blog for months.

When I saw today’s word it made me think of my own calling, why I write, how I write, what it really does for me? As that’s why I write generally for me. I also thought about when my true calling to write came, and how it came.  The only person that knows this is my co-author Didi Oviatt  so here goes, the whole world and it’s mum is about to know. My true calling came at a rather bitter sweet moment in my life. To the outsider it may appear as a sad time, truth be told I was probably the happiest I had been for a number of years.

My calling to write, honestly, not just here and there  secretly but seriously meaning write novels and novellas regularly, came the year I decided to take off my wedding ring, divorce my husband, embrace the decision I had made to start over, leave him, raise my son (who was eighteen months old at the time) on my own. Yep! I finally ditched him I just had enough!! I laugh as I type now, because I never once shed a tear over it, I felt better leaving than staying it was a sense of relief to shed my ring. I threw myself into caring for my boy who I am sooooooooooo proud of and happy to have (who is now four), creating our security and new direction. Then out popped a 90,000 novel, a publishing deal, a re-vamp and self-publish of that novel, then an award for it. Shit! I feel even better about ditching that ring now. You see, once I did not only was I and my son happier, I was allowed to write I just could with no criticism, put downs, or bullshit. Leaving allowed me to become a better person a stronger person also an author.

I just never thought to take it seriously until I broke free, and took my nose out of another author’s novel that I was reading.  I was (and still am) a big bookworm before I started writing. I also never thought about submitting my work to publishers  before. I did it on a whim and stuck lucky  I guess, but my mum would say ‘ no Kim you’re talented not lucky.’ Thanks Mum.

My calling was bitter sweet, writing did not and still does not ‘take away pain’ ‘take my mind off what happened’  put it this way I did not need any of that at the time,  I still don’t and probably won’t ever. I just felt great being able to create. Not just stories, or articles but spend time at my sewing machine too, if I were not a writer I’d probably be a fashion designer or make-up artist I’ve said it so many times!

Fast forward two years down the line to 2017, divorce final, six books under my belt  my calling in full swing what did I do….. I  immigrated!!!  🙂 The reason why I have not had a real chance to do much writing wise or interact with you as I used to, is because I have been busy moving country I now live in France! I love London and I will always be proud to be British and from the UK’s capital  that’s where I spent the first almost thirty-five years of my life. But for a better quality of life for my son and I, security, and a brand new start this is what’s best for us both right where we are now in a new part of Europe. London will always have a place in my heart.

So that’s it, that’s how my calling to write came about,  I decided fuck this shit I’ll be happier and better off as a single mama, and so would my son we  can do this. And  that’s why I have been absent I have relocated to a place with 300 days of sun a year, better quality of life and for a new adventure and I hope one day to find my true husband…. after all I am a romance writer!

But guess what? I’m back y’all, ya  better believe it to! I’m back with a force so I will be a lot more active writing and especially blogging. Now I have the time. I’ve made the leap and dedicating much more time to writing because I can… after all it is my true calling as a vocation in life, I’ve proven this to myself.

 

Throwback Thursday!! #music #writerslife #throwbackthursday #oldskool

Goooooood Mornin’ to ya!

It’s a grey cloudy one in London. I’m sitting here about to crack on with the final touches on my first, of two published books this July. You know me by now right? The music is going, coffee is being made, I’m in the zone. This song came on the radio as I was in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, giving it so much attitude as I sang along, doing my best Beyonce impression.  (Not a very good one, but plenty of attitude though).

This song came out in 1999… Woah  I was sixteen years old ! How old were you in 1999? Do you remember singing along to this song?

 It set me in a good mood to work. I like Beyonce’s work ethic too. Eighteen years she has been a successful woman since this first song came out. Inspirational being the same age too.

Music will always be my saviour in life! And what I write to.

#throwbackthursday