Tag Archives: #reflections

Finding Your Purpose in Life: Where To Start?

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I’ve really been slacking with my #90DayBlogChallenge that I set myself, but as I woke up this morning this dawned on me,‘finding one’s purpose in life and where to start?‘ As I progressed through the day the need to shed some light on this, that may help others became stronger. Especially with the pandemic and many people experiencing instability with work, or income. It’s an ideal time to really sit down and ask yourself have you found your purpose? And how would you even go about this?

But what is purpose?

Purpose/ˈpəːpəs

Noun

  1. The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”The purpose of the meeting is to appoint a trustee.”
  2. A person’s sense of resolve or determination.”There was a new sense of purpose in her step as she set off.”

Verb

  1. Have as one’s intention or objective.”God has allowed suffering, even purposed it.”

According to the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition above, it’s a reason for something or could even be an action also. So think about this: purpose means reason, so what’s one’s reason for living, breathing, getting up. Secondly, what is one placed here to do, achieve,or be in this life?

How could/do you find your purpose?

I won’t lie I did find my own purpose a good while back, years back actually. That said, it took a while for me to accept it and move towards it. For me it kind of just landed in my lap following a change in direction. I’d say it ( my purpose) found me. This was probably on reflection a much harder way to find one’s purpose, why? Simply because I had to wait for it to find me, I had to have a change in direction, I had to remain in a state of what I like to call ‘no man’s’ land’ and not realise that the direction I was travelling in, while I enjoyed it, it was not really the divine path laid out for me. Finding my purpose could have made me happier and it did, once it landed in my lap. So for anyone who stumbles across this random blog post I’d say– seek it out now your own purpose. You could save some of the best years of your life being wasted.

Ask yourself?

What do I enjoy doing?

What am I good at/ what’s my talent?

What would I like to be good at?

What have I overcome/ survived/ been through/ or have experience in that could help others? Or even make me some money?

The first two questions will show you clearly where or how you could spend your time, and that activity might not feel like a drag. This is a major thing for finding one’s purpose, the purpose should ideally not feel like something that you’d only be in the mood to do less than 75 percent of the time. You really must enjoy the purpose whatever it is for your own sanity, and the likely-hood that you’d continue with it.

If you really hone in on your talent this is also an excellent opportunity to find your purpose. Think of soft skills also that we have as people. If you’re a good listener, good at giving advice, or supporting people these talents can lend themselves to professions/directions you may not have considered.

Sometimes, things we enjoy that could well be our purpose in life we need to up-skill a bit in, take writing for example. Even a writer can have a natural talent ( like myself), but there are things to learn along the way. For sure I didn’t know everything, or as much as I know now to be anywhere as good as I am now, even if I had a natural talent to start with. This does not mean that you’re no good at your purpose or initial talent, it could just need to be honed a bit more. This leads on to what would I like to be good at? See if you have a talent, interest, skills, something you identify that could be your purpose, it’s important to consider if you’d be prepared to do what it takes to be good at it, if you needed to work o it– what would you like to be good at in other words. Something that would not overwhelm you or bore you.

Lastly, in life we all go through the shit, the motions, the drama, and it’s often in these times that we have our greatest growth. Not only that these testing times can cause us to change direction, or gain some kind of experience from hindsight that could really help others. This is key, whatever you’ve overcome, experienced, survived, grown from can be your purpose in life that could be used to help others. Or even give you a new stream of income, and great pleasure. Also, the help, support, advice, service whatever it is that’s your one talent, if it does not feel like something you would only want to do less than 75 percent of the time, then you’re on to a winner also!

How can finding your purpose really benefit you though?

Well if it’s not obvious yet, I read a book called Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life it became so clear to me from the study the author carried out into the Japanese way of life that, those who had found a purpose in life not only lived longer, they were physically healthier and happier. These are clearly the main benefits. From my own experience of finding my purpose while I don’t know if I will live longer, until it happens LOL I do know that, I get up each day with a whole different vibe than I did before. No matter what is going on personally, or even globally as I tend to keep up with world events I feel good, very good generally personally. I am happier, I actually am healthier my habits for sure are! I wake up before or with the sunrise and that first hour is spent only on me alone, doing something I want to start my day well. Whether that be listening to a podcast with positive news, affirmations, listening to an audio or just a moment of appreciation. The latter is the other major thing I’ve found with finding my purpose– I am full of appreciation and gratitude even in times of hardship and sorrow. This kind of attitude in life can really help you get through each day. Especially in these times we’re all living in with the pandemic, and political heat in some parts of the world, that does impact on others watching the politics play out. So friend, if you have not really considered if you’re on the right track or your purpose in life, with all these benefits to your health and well-being, please do read over the points above, reflect, and reach towards your purpose don’t wait for it to find you!

What’s Your Favourite Tense and POV to Write in? Thoughts and Experiences? #90DaysBlogChallenge

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Good question for the 90DaysBlogChallenge , personally I can write in both past or present. I can also do first or third person. I would not say when it comes to storytelling, that I do one better than the other– I do ’em all, and all well! But in the past I have gravitated naturally to present tense and first person. Most recently while writing my Unsolved Mysteries I’ve actually been drawn to the third person and past tense. More what readers are accustomed to you could say.

My next novel, Sacrifices is written in the present tense and third person, my Romance Set in Paradise and Romance in The City books are in the present tense but mixture of first and third. I guess I tend to mix it up depending on how I feel or how the story calls me to tell it.

My preference?

Well, if we’re talking about preference yes I do have one LOL. I love the present tense style of writing, and also as a reader. Yes, it’s probably gotten a lot more popular now, compared to when I first started writing. I remember I had editors and publishers telling me, ‘no, romance is not written in the present tense, or first person.’ I gave that advice the middle finger, and kept it real and how I wanted to write. But in all honesty, what I love about the present tense is this: as a reader I’ve always found that it brings you closer to the story. While others may argue ‘that’s not how you recall or tell a story’, I really give this no attention. I love it as a reader, and some stories I’ve read I can’t even imagine it in the past tense, the present suits it. I also have found as a reader that it brings me closer to the character.

As a writer, when I first ever attempted to write a story I naturally, and I mean naturally gravitated to the present. I have no idea why? It didn’t even bother me or really occur to me to place it in the past tense. I just wrote and found it much more comfortable. I have heard other writers say it is, ‘more of a challenge.’ I really can’t comment I’ve not found that ever.

When it comes to the POV and person, again as a reader I do love a first person POV. Mainly for the same reasons as the tense, the closeness, getting to know the character. But I do agree it can be limiting, as in what you can show a reader I feel this as a writer and reader, who loves the first person.

How Do I Decide The Story Telling Style?

I let the story tell me, simple. Once I’ve outlined it and sit down to write whatever tense comes to me and feels more natural, I’ll go with. It’s as simple as that. I must say for some odd reason I did go with third person past tense for my Unsolved Mysteries the first two that I penned. I can’t guarantee that they will all be like this at all LOL. I let the characters and story talk to me, I have no real rules. But, as explained I do have a preference or where I may naturally gravitate.

Are There Pros and Cons For Each Tense and POV?

Sure, yeah I feel that there are. Some of which I’ve mentioned and do go into detail when I wrote The Art of Short Story and Novella Writing. However, I do feel that really it’s only a decision the writer can make, keeping in mind the ‘vibe’ I call it, they wish to give the reader. Do you want a little distance, or up close and personal? At the end of the day, I don’t personally feel that one tense or POV makes a story better, that’s down to how the writer writes it, or they show the story. I don’t feel that tense or POV really can enhance a badly written story, or make a good one even better if it’s already good!

What Have I Learned From Experimenting With Tense and POVs in writing?

First, to stick to what you naturally like. Ignore the words of others telling you, ‘this genre does not do that.’ Do what you want. Secondly, I think from writing more in the third person I’ve learned about ‘head hopping’ my editor has called it. The all important omniscient style of writing in third person. In fact, I really managed to curb the ‘head hopping’ and remain truly omniscient in my writing from writing Sacrifices!! And that’s from having a very strong editor to tell me to ‘pull up my socks.’ If you’re not sure what this is, basically head hopping is like jumping from one character’s POV, to another in the same paragraph, page, chapter etc. Either by internal thought or action.

I never really noticed that I had done that that often, but apparently I did LOL. So now I am much more aware of it, and how I could still show different POV’s in a better way in the third person, or remaining truly omniscient it was a great realisation.

In a nutshell, I like all tenses to write in but love the present. Same with the POV too I like them all, but have realised that the third does allow me to show more! Even if the first is something I love to read, and in the past have naturally gravitated to more when writing– not so much now. That said, I can’t say I would never write first person again. I just know I will, when the right story and character pops into my head.

Do you have a preference as a reader or writer? Or does it not really matter, as long as the story is told well?