REBLOGGING MY OLD FAVOURITES I ENJOYED WRITING 🙂
Ok, so this week, I’ve seen MiracleGirl’s (awesome) word prompt writing challenges, and decided to continue on from the short crime fiction story I wrote for week #5’s challenge, that was her ” Negative Thoughts” writing challenge. If you’ve not read the first half of the challenge’s short story already you can by clicking here. This is the continued short story in response to week #7’s writing challenge. Write a short story using the writing prompt: “make yourself comfortable I’ll be back in a minute“.
Short Story Continued: Negative Thoughts
My mind for one second quietens down, it’s like I manage to tune out the voices in my head. I stop rocking. I look around and take in my surroundings, as if seeing them for the first time in the whole ten years I’ve been detained in this mental institution. The metal frame bed creaks underneath my fragile thin bones, as I move forward and really look around. A dirty brown sink with a leaking tap in the corner, a bedside table- no bedside lamp of course. Oh no “health and safety” they don’t trust me not to smash it to pieces or even worse smash it against one of the many nurses, who check on me every 15 minutes as part of the suicide watch I’m constantly on. A pile of books over in the corner, most of them I’ve read twice over. And that’s it, my home- bare to the bone. A large metal door with a cut-out toughened plastic glass window takes up the top half of the door, this separates me from the outside world. They look in, I look out. We play a game- we see who has the balls to stare the longest. Normally it’s me, I love freaking them out-especially the new ones. I stare right through them with a half smile on my face. They can’t stand to look at me for a full 30 seconds, these nurses on suicide watch are weak. They all think I’m a nut job so naturally I give them what they want, for my own entertainment of course when the mood takes me. To them, as long as I’m breathing, not bleeding, or chocking that’s all they care about.
The absence of the voices in my head allow me to think back clearly to the day. The day my life changed…. I murdered every living member of my immediate family. I go back ten years in my mind to the day I was arrested, and charged with murder as a minor at just 16 years old.
“Sit down, make yourself comfortable.”
The Detective said to me as he loosened my handcuffs in interview room 2, at the police station.
”I’m Detective Jones and this is Detective Brown. Today is 27th July 2015, this interview is being recorded via tape.”
”For the purpose of the tape, please confirm your full name and date of birth?”
“Sophie, Sophie Lambert born 14.02.99.” I responded.
”And for the purposes of the tape, sir please confirm your name?”
”David Stephens, Sophie’s solicitor- here to protect her rights and interests today while she is interviewed under caution as she’s a minor.”
“Sophie, you’re under arrest for the murder of your father, mother and younger brothers you do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be used against you as evidence in a court of law. Do you understand?”
I stare at him, smile sweetly and nod.
”Sophie, what happened tonight? Start from the beginning please.”
“It wasn’t me.”
”Sophie, let’s not play games we arrested you with matches and petrol in your hands, it’s all over your clothes you smell like a petrol station. What happened if it was not you?”
“She told me to,she done it.”
”Can’t you hear her? She’s laughing at you Detective Jones.”
I started to laugh along with my voice in my head at this point, I remember I pointed at Detective Jones and looked over his shoulder behind him and laughed.
”Sophie, this is not a game… who is SHE and what is her name god damn it. 4 people are dead murdered in a viscous house fire. You were the one at the crime scene with petrol and matches.”
Detective Jones slammed his fist down on the plastic table to punctuate his annoyance with me.
”I hear her all the time, only I hear her- she makes me do things .It’s not me she uses my body but it’s not me. She said it was for the best.”
”Sophie, are you saying that you hear actual voices out loud telling you things? Can you clarify this please?”
I remember, I stared directly into Detective Jones’ eyes deadly serious with my response. He had heart I gave him that, he never looked away. He wasn’t scared to look into the eyes of a murderer and push them into a confession, all in a day’s work to him I could tell. That pissed me off, he did not believe me, all he wanted was a confession not to help me or see why I really done it. No one believed me not even my parents. I heard these voices all the time for well over a year. No one ever thought to check if I was OK? How I was feeling, why I was crying, harming myself, track marks the length of my full inner arm showed the evidence of how disturbed I was at the time I committed murder.
I snatched up the cup of water in front of me, and threw it all over Detective Jones and his smug face-ass-hole. Detective Jones jumped up out of his seat, while Detective Brown flew around to my side of the table to handcuff me. I didn’t protest, I let him have his kick out of handcuffing a minor 16 year old girl. I looked Jones in the eye, raised an eyebrow and pouted. This guy’s a prick I thought to myself, I decided I no longer liked him he was just like the rest, he didn’t want to help me get better and stop the voices, he wanted me in jail.
”She said you don’t believe me and you’re laughing at me?” I pouted at Detective Jones again and added with a sinister look and low whisper ”She also said… Detective you were having inappropriate thoughts about me just now. Is that true? I am a minor you know.”
Detective Jones shook his head and sighed.
” You’re a nut job kid”
” You need help young lady, I’m ordering a psychiatric report- interview terminated at 21 hundred hours.”
With that Detective Jones, stopped the recording and started to dry his suit down with tissue paper. He leaned in close to me, put his face in mine and looked me dead in the eye, he was so close I smelt the coffee on his breath
” Take a seat, make yourself comfortable (Sophie), I’ll be back in the minute. Young lady you’ll be here for a while.
I spat at him as he and his side kick Detective Brown walked out of the interview room, leaving me and my solicitor alone. Jones called over his shoulder .
” You’re 16 years old young lady, you better watch that smart mouth of yours!”
I pouted again, and then I heard her she said ” don’t worry we’ll make sure he gets what’s coming to him.”
5 thoughts on “MiracleChallenge week# 7: Negative Thoughts Short Story-Continued”
Gosh! You pulled the string very well.. Perfect scene of interview. I visualized them very well. Thank you, Kim for continuing the story. Hope she gets help what she needed in the next session.
Well. Congrats for completing challenge No.1 using Prompt Sentence.
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Thank you for reading and stopping by! Have a great day.
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You are always welcome, Kim 🙂
You too add more sugar to your lovely day 😀
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Reblogged this on miraclegirlblog and commented:
Hello Everyone !
Check out the latest post for ‘Weekly Writing Miracle Challenge’ Week – 7: https://miraclegirlblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/26/miraclechallenge-week-7-dated-26th-july-1st-august-2016/
Blogger : Kim-Knight-Author (Congrats for the newly signed contract)
Story Title : Negative Thoughts
Challenge No : 1
Write a Short Story using prompt sentence –
“MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. I WILL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.”
For those who are new to #MiracleChallenge, every Tuesday morning, I post new Writing prompts for 5 challenges to write Short Story / Tiny Tale/ Poem / Haiku.
Visit my blog to know the latest writing prompts and the rules to participate in #MiracleChallenge for the week dated from 26th July to 1st August, 2016.
Yes ! 1st August is the deadline.
To read participant’s submissions for Miracle Challenges, Click Here.
Kindly, everyone read and inspire each other to write.
Happy Blogging !
Enjoy and have fun:)
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