Ah what a word for today’s writing prompt nice one WordPress! As a romance writer, this word is a word I think about a lot when creating some kind of story based on romance, that’s wrapped up with a bit of suspense/mystery. When writing it’s fun and sometimes easy to get lost in your own world conjuring up a handsome, physically eye popping hero/ companion for my female heroine character, and vise versa. Also to highlight their personality, whether that be a powerful business man/women or bad boy/girl, which allure the heroine and hero resulting in some kind of happy ever after.
In real life it’s not always as nice as pie, and that simple though is it? What we read in romance novels around companionship in real life is never that straight forward. Hence why I do, also try to keep an element of realism to my stories; relationships can be extremely testing in real life so I try to reflect that.
The other day, I read a blog post asking what makes 2 people compatible, I did respond and my response relates to this word prompt. In my view companionship is beautiful when you find it, forget the physical attraction (this is me speaking as a normal women not a romance writer!) as attraction is not what makes 2 people compatible/great companions or even should be what a companionship is based on that shit fades! Like I’m really going to look the same in 30-40 year’s time….. even with botox
I feel, (personally speaking again) that in REAL LIFE if 2 people have the same vision and direction this is what makes a great companion. Or even if you don’t, the ability to support your partner with their vision, and meet in kind of some middle ground this makes a great companionship. If not there will always be push and pull in different directions, that ultimately add strain; and sadly can end a companionship.
A similar outlook on life and how you go through it as an individual also is what makes a great companion I’ve learned this, for example are you a list maker, go geter, climb the top of a mountain, set goals kinda person in life? Is this how you keep yourself motivated and achieve? If so then a sit back and let life happen to you, laid back to the point of little care about your future kind of personality is NOT going to make a great companion; you have 2 different outlooks on how you wish to live life. I call this personality type A and personality type B.
Now when you think about things like this, when seeking companionship in real life how often do we FIRST look at a person’s outlook on life, how they live it and their future goals when it comes to selecting a partner or companion ? We focus on the physical, the sex, the dates, the money, whatever! Anything BUT does this person have the same outlook on life as me? And how they wish to live it? I’m not talking about oh, yeah we get on really well so therefore we have a similar out look on life, this is different; this is just ability to chill with someone or have fun not spend the rest of your life with them necessarily. Really looking for the right personality type in a companion is deeper- and if we all did this we may not make the same mistake twice, and might be more likely to end up with our true compatible companion. Rather than someone we get on with and can have fun or chill with.Now this is me, the human, the women not the romance fiction writer who creates a whirlwind of romance and companionship based on things outside of what I would look for, or try to look for in real life when I think of the word companion.
When I think of the word companion, and compatibility like this in a deeper way, it shows me that things like age, race, looks are really in some ways irrelevant if you focus on compatibility and outlook as a judgement on what or whom would make a great companion. Makes me wonder if these things or preferences maybe even barriers that one may put up, by just seeking out a certain age, race, look etc are just things which over complicate love! Put us off track, as our focus is shifted and we seek maybe not what is key, important and essential to finding and keeping the right companion (with he right outlook and personality first and foremost) so you have a higher chance of growing together, the months turn to years, they turn to decades of companionship. ……. hummm just a thought, as a women, human being taking off my romance writer hat.
You’re right. Physical attraction doesn’t play a major role in making two people compatible, but what they have in common. Great post.
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Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it’s nice to have some eye candy to drool over, but at the end of the day it’s better you can grow together if you’re seeking something long term I guess.
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Yes, I got it. Physical attraction plays an important role. You can also read about it in my blog. You can check my archive for May if you have time. .
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Totally agree with your sentiments KimKnight, thank you for sharing. I sometimes wonder if it’s possible to obtain companionship with someone who is uneducated and has no world view/perspective and had I desire to have one. It’s an interesting dichotomy on the search of a life partner.
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Thanks for reading and stopping by, and interesting question you pose! Well I personally don’t think educational attainment should stop one from finding love as love is not based on this eg if you’ve not had a world prospective. I think it a person what stops people from finding companionship are how and where we look not always in the best places not necessarily who or what we are if that makes sense. May be others will also share their view on your points.
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